After a breakup, every girl knows that the number one rule is not to speak to your new ex. Don’t text, don’t call, don’t stalk him on social media unless you’re sure you can handle it (which you can’t yet. Trust.) and definitely don’t show up on his doorstep drunk and crying. Yet despite the very best of intentions, more often than not you end up in the situation perfectly described by this Taylor Swift song lyric: “I say I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you.” Sound familiar? After a breakup, it’s sometimes just all too easy to fall back into the trap of talking to your ex. It doesn’t seem to matter that we know it’s a bad idea or even when we’re aware the person is incompatible with us — we text them anyway. It doesn’t make sense. Except now, according to science, it does.
In a new video posted by neuroscientist Lucy Brown, she breaks down the scientific reasoning behind why breakups are so incredibly difficult.
It basically boils down to the fact that your brain hates you because similar areas are activated in your head when you go through a breakup as when you go through cocaine withdrawal. Yeah. So the next time you say that someone is messing with your head, you’re not being dramatic — they really are. We literally can’t turn off loving someone. Our brains keep those emotions for them intact at a non-verbal level, so if you’re still crying into your pillow after so much as seeing a photo of your ex, you’re not being crazy. Your brain is convinced you still love them even though you know deep down you’re bad for each other. On the bright side (sort of), other research shows that it takes someone roughly eleven weeks to get over a breakup, so it won’t be like this forever. Give your head, and your heart for that matter, some time to recuperate.
So don’t be too hard on yourself, it really will get better. Your brain just literally needs time to rewire itself. No big deal, right?.
[h/t The Huffington Post]
Image via Youtube