You’ll Never Guess The Number One Person That We All Want To Have Sex With


We all have the dream sex partner. Maybe they have killer abs or a fantastic taste in music. They care about getting us off, and they know just how we like it. And for most women, that perfect sex partner is herself.

According to Adam & Eve, 86 percent of Americans get themselves off. And the other 14 percent are either really miserable or really good liars. Either way, masturbating isn’t “news.” Historically, self pleasure has been around since 4000 BC (and that’s just the documented proof). But the fact that women like having sex with themselves more than they like having sex with their partners? Now that’s news that we need to talk about.

I mean sure, every now and again we take a solo ride to pleasure town. Even when we have a boyfriend, sometimes it’s nice to sit back, relax, and not have to worry about pleasing someone else (or saying no to yet another blow job request). And there’s nothing wrong with this. Except that it’s not every once in awhile. It’s way more than that. Two thirds of women masturbate about three times a week. And the best part? Most of these women are in relationships. The worst part, however, is that four out of ten women actually prefer having sex with themselves to having sex with their significant other. And honestly? That’s unacceptable.

I mean, we have these guys who want to put their Ps in our Vs. More than that. They’re literally (and I do mean literally) dying to have sex with us. And we don’t let them. Why? It’s not because we don’t like them. It’s not because we don’t care about producing the world’s population. And it’s not because they didn’t pick up the tab at dinner (JK, that might actually be why). The reason we’re not getting off with our partners is because the sex? It’s just not that great.

It’s messy, and rushed, and sweaty, and sticky, and awkward, and hot, and uncomfortable, and usually doesn’t result in an orgasm for us. Sure, it seems like we came. But we didn’t. So when we are faced with the choice of a man who might not get us off, and a battery operated toy that will 100 percent get us off, we reach for the toy. every. single. time.

So what does this mean? That we should swear off partnered sex forever? Or that we should toss out our toys and accept a life of mediocre-at-best sex? No, what this means is that masturbating is awesome and guys need to get their shit together. For the sake of the sex world, we need to mix self-pleasure with couple pleasure. Ladies, picture a sex world with you plus your boyfriend and your handheld, battery-operated boyfriend all working together? That sounds like the makings of a perfect threesome, great sex, and quite possibly, world peace. Or at least more orgasms. Same thing, really.

[via Refinery29, Adam & Eve]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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