If you need an even more unobtainable standard of “perfection” than previous Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, look no further. On Feb. 18, the world’s favorite disproportionate blonde will appear as a model in the 50th edition.
You read that right. Barbie, who has also been EVERYTHING (no really, everything–she ran for president) can now add this coveted title to her lengthy resume. For decades, Barbie has been a “role model” for young girls. Role model is a lose term though–she’s more like a plastic outlet for future dreams and career aspirations. I bet ninety percent of girls ages three to 10 own a Barbe doll. (But probably 100 percent of men know what the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is.) Barbie is now officially an artificial “sex symbol” and she’s sorry she’s not sorry.
I honestly feel bad for the photographer who drew the short straw. He had to photograph the only non-living swimsuit model EVER. How pissed is that dude, when he could’ve been photographing Kate Upton? He’s dressing a doll, while his friend is living every man’s dream–although, I’m not sure if Kate can pop into all 110 different positions that Barbie can demonstrate.
As part of an interesting and ballsy advertising movement, Barbie’s hashtag #Unapologetic will also appear. I guess Barbie apparently has image issues that she’s working through via her new modeling career. Barbie’s got a bad attitude, and an even worse outlook on her future career options. Come on Barbie, you can never go back to being a nurse after this. Ken will be proud, but what will your little sisters, Skipper, Stacie, and Chelsea think?
The real source of uncomfortable confusion is the crossing of age divides here. The crowd that loves Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition isn’t (usually) the same crowd that adores Barbie. Why mix the two? The message they’re trying to send to little girls is that Barbie can and will do whatever she wants, but can’t you do that by giving her the ambition to be a deep sea diver or train for a marathon?