You Can Finally Get A Job Because This Company Erases Your Dumbass Facebook Pictures

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Good news. Are you tired of being unable to Facebook stalk the boy you met at the bar because he changed his name to avoid being creeped on by potential employers? Are you over untagging your wildest exploits? Now you don’t have to.

Social Sweepster is a new company that scans and erases certain posts and pictures on your Facebook and Twitter pages that reveal anything inappropriate–as in, your true self. I would love to know more about the company’s technology. Does it look for drunk eyes exclusively, or does it monitor dancing on tables and chugging from full handles of Crown Russe? Asking for a friend who is also myself.

A recent graduate of Indiana University, Tom McGrath, realized that he had a potential gold mine on his hands, probably after perusing his classmates’ Facebook mistakes. His company offers something new in erasing your sketchy past: the ability to delete pictures, not only text. Goodbye, Mardi Gras 2012. Farewell, spring break 2013. Say hello to employment instead.

Once you give Social Sweepster access to your accounts, it starts scanning your timeline, going all the way back to 2005 (#old). It uses filters to pick out objects you’re holding that could potentially be incriminating (I mean, if it goes back that far, they would also be illegal). It searches for beer cans, bottles, and solo cups, and it flags the images. What about shot glasses, handles, and bottles of Champagne? Unclear. If only it could replace them with kittens, instead. This program is basically as hardcore as when you sweep for liquor during slideshow picture hunting.

Once the questionable images are discovered, you can delete them or ask a friend to delete them. It’s currently in beta, but I can only hope it will be ready in time for graduation. Right now, you can sweep a few months of photos for free to see just how risqué you are. While you may have forgotten the nights in question, Facebook never forgets–and now you can erase them permanently.

[via NY Times]

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Fleur de Lilly

Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.

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