If you needed a reminder that there’s someone dumber than you out there in this world, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered. No matter how dumb I’ve ever been in my life, I’ve never been “steal something and post it on social media” dumb.
Danielle Saxton, a 27-year-old woman from West Frankfort, Ill., stole a dress from a store called Morties Boutique. Stole a dress. No joke. She somehow swiped an entire dress, then decided in her infinite wisdom to post photos of herself wearing the dress on Facebook.
Someone then saw this picture, noticed the dress is the same kind of dress sold at this store, and tipped off the owner, who had the whole theft caught on a surveillance camera. She called the police and BOOM, Saxton’s in handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit–which is a VAST improvement over that hellacious dress she’s wearing.
Seriously, I think the store owner should be happy that someone’s wearing that dress at all. Who cares how she obtained the thing? Obviously, stealing is a horrible crime and I do not advocate for it, but my God. Rainbow and cheetah print just do NOT go together.
According to ABC News, online court records do not show if Saxton has an attorney. She also doesn’t have a listed home telephone number, because why would an international dress thief have a home phone number? Who the hell has a home phone number these days, anyway? Also, apparently her Facebook profile is still public. Go figure.
Well, kids, the moral of the story here is don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
I’m about to lose my lunch over that dress. Excuse me.