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Why I Chose To Become Friends With My Ex’s New Girlfriend

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You know that girl? The one who stole your man? The one who totally has no idea what you and your ex went through? The one who replaced you? She will never live up to the relationship you guys had. She’s the one who isn’t as pretty as you (Right? I mean, she’s not–right?) and she isn’t funny at all. You know, she’s his new girlfriend.

It seems like just yesterday he was your boyfriend, and now, suddenly, this bitch is hanging on his arm. She floods his social media profiles. She’s his #WomanCrushWednesday. She’s the worst. You hate her. You dream of horrible things happening to her, and you hope things end between the two of them in the most dramatic way possible.

Do you know that girl? Well, I don’t. It’s not because I’m a saint or a goddess (that’s not for me to say, that’s for all of you to say). It’s not because I’m a “good person,” because I can assure you that is not the case. The thing is, I decided to take a shitty, heartbreaking, awkward situation and turn it into something positive.

It all started will the ill-fated, accidental “like.”

Because I don’t know how to turn it off, one evening I got an email notification that one of my ex’s new, uh, romantic interests had clicked “like” on something of mine. After bouncing back and forth with the idea of reaching out to her, I decided (or maybe it was the four glasses of wine in me that decided) to message her.

I could go one of two ways:
1. Be a total bitch.
2. Be totally cool and nice.

I chose the second option. And every single day, I’m glad I did. At first, it was awkward. She admitted that she was stalking and was so embarrassed, and I admitted that I’ve totally been there. We laughed and she thanked me for being cool about it. We messaged back and forth nonstop that night. We talked about what we were interested in. We talked about our relationships: my ex’s relationship with her, a new guy I was talking to. We talked about our dreams. We talked about life. It’s been a long time (how long, I can’t say for the respect of those involved) but she has proven to be a true friend. If I’m having a bad day or if I need someone to share something with, she’s always there.

What should you take away from this message, besides the fact that I just bragged for about 400 words?

Stop looking at all of these women as enemies. I’m not saying that some of them aren’t. Some of them suck. They’re vicious, mean, and downright shitty. There are some girls who have crossed paths with me who make my blood boil, even now. When I stalk them on Facebook (whatever, we all do it, stop judging) I want to literally travel through the Internet to them and punch them in the ovaries. But that doesn’t mean all of them are this way. Some of them are fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that they could become best friends with you. Even though her relationship with my ex didn’t last, my relationship with her did. I am so blessed that he brought the two of us together, because I can’t imagine a friendship like the one I have with her.

And hell, if all else fails, remember the old saying? “The best revenge is to become best friends with his new girlfriend.” Or something like that.

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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