Why Drake Was Grossed The Eff Out When Madonna Tongue Attacked Him At Coachella

Drake Kiss

Remember that random from the bar who got really drunk and tried to slobber all over you after his “amp-up jam” came on? Well, he now has something in common with Madonna. Bet you didn’t see that coming (just like his tongue).

As reported by Defamer, while performing at the White Girl Flower-Crown Fashion Show Festival, (also known as “Coachella”) Madonna made a surprise appearance during Drake’s performance. Pretty cool, right? Well, until Madonna proceeded to sit Drake down in a chair, serenade him, and then plant a giant dementor’s kiss on him. Major violation of Wheelchair Jimmy’s space there, Madge.

Drake looked less than pleased. Oh, all right, he looked pretty disgusted. And you know what? I am too. Madonna is too good to pull stunts like this. For fuck’s sake, she’s the Queen of Pop! She created the world’s most sing-a-long-able song, “Material Girl.” Why she’s resorting to a Miley-level stunt is beyond me. And that is saying something because I love Miley. Don’t make desperate youthful ploys, Madonna. You don’t need to! Remember like, ten years back when you were aging really gracefully and still making really catchy songs? Go back to that. Like, ASAP, please. There’s still time for your legacy to not be “sneak-attack frenched a guy named Aubrey”.

According to TMZ, however, Drake said he loved the kiss, not so much the lip gloss. Funny, it looks like Madonna isn’t even wearing any gloss but hey, good save, buddy.

So, much like that random at the bar, I don’t think that Drake will be calling Madonna anytime soon. Unless, of course, it’s really late at night, Drake is looking for a last minute opening act, and Madonna leaves her lipgloss at home. But even then she’d be like, fourth on his list.

[via Defamer, TMZ]

Image via John Steel /

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I came for the wine, but I stayed for the complimentary appetizer sampler plate.

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