If you ask me, Snapchat is the most underrated social media platform of our generation, simply for the fact that nobody takes it seriously. Saw a cute animal? Snap it. Look vaguely rachet but like your hair/eyeliner/location? Pose yourself, then snap it. Good food, car singalongs, new filter, snap, snap, snap. The only real etiquette rule in Snapchat is not having a thousand-second story, and even that mostly went away when they took out the timing icon. It’s also the most useful #humblebrag tool in your arsenal. You can make your relationship look perfect, your tan look spectacular, and your job look entertaining at just the push of a button. That said, what you snap and how often you snap it still says a lot about you, and how your “best summer ever!” is coming along.
This girl has somehow found THE cutest combination of babies and small children to look after this summer. Highlights of her stories include trips to the park, baby babbling, crayon drawings, and more. The outfits are adorable, the crafts are Pinterest-worthy, and on the surface, she seems to have the perfect job. There’s even a built-in naptime! It’s so cute that you almost forget that children also include a lot of crying, bodily fluids, and constant supervision. There’s a 9/10 chance that this girl will never forget to take her birth control again after this summer.
Nobody has any idea where this girl is getting the money to go everywhere she’s going this summer, but she sure is making it happen. She constantly seems to have the right seat for her artsy “plane window” photos, and she makes sure to slap on a geofilter from places you didn’t even know existed. Hiking mountains? She’s got a video from the summit. Bikini shots? Multiples, of course. This girl is a force of nature, and she makes you want to throw your cares away and ink up your passport along with hers. Before you do it though, you should remember that you wouldn’t want to have her bank account at the end of all of this globetrotting.
This girl is probably home for the summer, maybe at a part-time job or internship. She’s not super excited to be back home, but she knows that it comes with at least one perk: getting to hang out with her favorite four-footed friend. At first, you thought her once daily snaps with Fido were cute, but now, they just seem to be becoming identical. Yes, he rolls over. And chases a stick. And does all of the things that your own dog does too. Feel free to stop checking this chick’s snaps when she posts her first selfie with her and her puppy both in the “dog ears” filter. We get it, he’s cute and you’re bored.
The New Relationship
If you or someone you know just got into a relationship, or are just reconnecting with your boyfriend from home, this is probably you. You two are doing all of the cute date things to do in your hometown, and you’re documenting the everlasting shit out of it. Here’s you two playing mini golf. Here’s you two sharing ice cream (you made him buy you your own cone after the photo). Here’s you two at the beach. While there’s nothing wrong with being really obnoxiously happy, you should know that we all hate you. Mostly because we’d love to be you.
The One Stuck At Your College
Maybe this girl has failed a class or is working to get ahead at her major. Maybe she just genuinely doesn’t like being home. For whatever the reason, this girl stayed behind in your college town long after everyone else left. Her snaps of your usual bars and hangouts, now weirdly free of people you know, are kinda surreal to look at. So are her photos of stacks of books and pages of notes, with the captions about tests and assignments. This girl’s story is useful to look at anytime you’re feeling bored or trapped in your summer routine. You may not be beachside but at least nobody’s trying to teach you Calc.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Snapchat is simply the best. Where else can you categorically keep tabs on everyone you know and what they’re doing these past few months? As summer winds down, get your last few shades of tan in and get ready to tell everyone how you spent your summer- although trust me when I say that they already know..
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