As they say, pictures speak louder than words. Actually, pictures obnoxiously yell louder than words, while wasted and dancing in a crowded bar in letters. Just like that sister you confided in who had no shame spilling all of your deepest secrets after two margaritas, your photos can do the same. They tell the story of the good, the bad, the forgotten, and the embarrassing–and as sorority girls, we are the worst at telling more than we should in our photos. You’d think that we would know better, with the way we search for info on PNMs months before recruitment through their social media pictures, but we don’t. Most of us have massive photo collections to snag juicy info from that would put others to shame. It isn’t because we enjoy taking inappropriate pictures like it’s our jobs (okay, maybe we do) but because we literally love to take pictures of everything: tailgates, parties, group photos, Starbucks orders, the puppy walking by our house, before, during, and after the gym. It doesn’t matter. We see the photo potential in practically everything, which, according to us, is what has happened in our lives since the beginning of Instagram and Facebook. (Brownie points if the photo is recruitment slide show material.) The bad thing is, we’re bound to have a few in there that say way too much–accidental or not.
But can anyone really blame us? How else are our friends supposed to know what we’re doing at every second of the day? For the haters, I tell them to think of it this way: just like a snowflake, each and every selfie is a unique gift of social media.
Selfie addiction is a family trait of mine, so I can’t act innocent here. I wouldn’t be surprised if my big, little, or anyone else in my family has been responsible for at least half of Instagram’s success, but I’m partial of course. Each trip to Standards over a picture was a sacrifice we were willing to take. But just like everyone who likes to have a good time, sometimes we have too much of a good time and it ends up on social media for everyone to see. Employers, family members, that one professor (let’s be honest, the hot grad student) who accepted your friend request–they all get to take a long gaze at the photos you post. This can either make or break your reputation in their eyes. I’ve seen it all, but for the sake of not confessing too much, I’ll narrow it down for y’all. Here are 10 ways your social media photos can tell us things we want–and don’t want–to know about you.
What Happens Behind Closed Doors
Nice bedroom selfie. Nicer vibrator in the background. Rule number one: never leave your toys out after you’re done playing.
The Ways Your Hair Is Full Of Secrets
You tell everyone you are a natural blonde, but your Throwback Thursday picture says otherwise. Guess that’s one way to say brunette?
How You Really Feel
I don’t like to judge, but that candid picture of you throwing the stink eye at your “bestie” doesn’t speak highly of you.
Your Attention To Detail
Trust me, nobody is interested in the picture you took of the TV with “Pretty Little Liars” on the screen. They’re much more interested in the reflection of you in nothing but your underwear, courtesy of the mirror you forgot was behind you.
How You Study
When I take pictures of myself “studying” at the library, I like to make sure I take down my Google search for shirtless Liam Hemsworth on my laptop.
Your Actual Plans
That one time you told your friend you couldn’t make it to her party because you were sick, but then you were tagged in a bunch of pictures after going out that night. Good times.
Nothing says “USA!” like a picture of you passed out on the American Flag, wearing cowboy boots and showing your “Britney” to the world, spread eagle (no pun intended). God bless America.
Where You Vacation
You’re not the only person who has confused Aspen with your backyard. When I tag pictures of myself while on a fake vacation, I make sure it doesn’t say that my location is “home.”
The Company You Keep
The only thing cuter than a picture of you and your little is a picture with boyfriends included. The same can’t be said for their buddies flipping the bird in the background.
Your Car Doubles As A Lost And Found
It’s totally common to take selfies while in the car, stuck in traffic. It’s a lot less common to see the item your friend apparently “lost” in your back seat. You’ve been meaning to give it back…
The next time you decide to post a picture, take a good look at it. Everyone else will, and you might not like what people have to say about it.