In this day and age, having a computer is about as necessary as having a boy toy. You could probably live without it, but it is super convenient to have one. Laptops have truly become an art, brazenly displaying your personality to the world via the use of stickers. So while sitting at your local Starbucks enjoying your nonfat cappuccino and perusing Pinterest, here is a brutally honest description of what everyone is thinking about you:
Vineyard Vines Whale
This is the most common offender of the sticker world. This happy (and low key creepy) little whale makes its home on computers, phones, water bottles, and every single piece of VV apparel that you, like any sorority girl, own. Chances are you have at least four bottles of Barefoot sitting in your fridge at any given moment, you drive a Jeep, and you wear oversized t-shirts and Chacos to class. Vineyard Vines tee shirts, of course. Also, you most definitely go to school in the SEC. Very #fratty of you. Bonus points if you have multiple whales in different patterns!
The close cousin of the VV whale, this sticker is almost a requirement for any true sorority girl. However, you are a tad bit classier than the average gal and are probably prone to wearing pearl earrings and a casual dress. You only drink black coffee and are currently on a juice cleanse that is just SO refreshing. You wouldn’t be caught dead without mascara and a little bit of lip gloss. You are definitely in a committed relationship with a guy from the top fraternity on campus, and there’s a high chance that you have a trust fund of some sort. You have also have already planned your entire wedding, picked the names of your children (two girls, one boy) and selected the dog breed you’ll need to complete your family. Now, where’s that engagement ring again?
While initially obnoxious, this little sign broadcasts to the world that you do not give a shit about gender stereotypes, but you are also not afraid to be a little bit mainstream. After all, you are sitting at Starbucks and you do have a laptop sticker to begin with. That being said, you may or may not have half your head shaved, and you are at a higher risk for having a nose ring than other girls. You are in the offbeat sorority, and you probably are too independent to have a SO at the moment. You only drink craft beer or vintage wine, and you wear dark red lipstick. While some people may be intimidated by your bold demeanor, you know are one ambitious girl who will, as Queen B puts it, run the world.
Some Sort of Food Sticker
Fries Before Guys. But First, Coffee. You are the kind of girl who can be found in a different fraternity each afternoon, sitting back and having a Bud with your closest friends. You give zero shits about your reputation, and you might be Standard’s worst nightmare. Potentially an athlete, you are true to your stickers and always make sure to seize the day when it comes to food. Outfit of choice includes Lululemon leggings (hello, extra stretch factor) and a jersey (not a food baby in sight). When not drinking the day away or ordering the newest menu item, you can be found running a marathon or beating the guys’ team on the basketball court. Because honestly, how else would you avoid obesity?
This one is pretty self explanatory. You are definitely in a sorority, and you definitely want the entire world to know it. You also have one of the other stickers mentioned above, and together they work perfectly to tell any onlooker exactly what your priorities are. When are not busy throwing what you know, you can be found running the campus, making plans to dominate the world, and looking fabulous, all while slightly intoxicated.
So there you have it. The mysterious code of laptop stickers has finally been cracked and you are now free to shamelessly judge everyone while on your next study break. But just remember: you’re just as guilty as the rest of them..