Snapchat used to be for nudes, but now it’s purely for self-indulgent selfies. Snapchat selfies are selfies that aren’t good enough to put on Instagram but ones you still want to show off to the world, AKA that one guy whose attention you’re after (ex-boyfriend, hot neighbor, ex-boyfriend’s best friend, whatever). It can seem almost too thirsty to just snap a selfie and upload it to your story, even if it’s a really good one. The solution? Slap a filter on that bitch and voilá, your fire selfie becomes a little more acceptable in the world of social media. Don’t forget to add a caption that makes it seem like you were just “fooling around” and didn’t even notice how smooth your face looks with the puppy filter or how tan you look with the gold butterfly filter, like “when he calls me a bitch LOL” or “oooooh I like this one!” We all have our favorite go-to filter for times like these, and the one you choose says a lot about who you are as a person.
The Puppy Filter
Girls who use the puppy filter are comfortable in their own skin. They don’t feel the need to hide behind the amazing effects of the Greek Goddess filter, they’re happy just the way they are. The puppy filter doesn’t change the shape or color of your face, it just smooths it out, so girls who love this filter are the girls who can go out without makeup on and still feel good about themselves. They’re confident but not cocky, cool without being obnoxious about it, and they probably have at least one close guy friend who’s really just a friend. That being said, these girls still love getting attention from guys because they’re luring with the filter guys are most attracted to: the hoe filter. Something about the combination of the dog and the smoothing effect allowing for you to look like a better version of yourself makes guys crazy, and puppy filter girls know this.
The Gold Butterfly Filter
This filter is new but it might be my favorite one. You know why? Because I’m extra AF, and so are the girls who love this filter. We love it because it adds a subtle tan to your skin and the *perfect* nude gloss to your lips. It also makes your eyes bigger and your skin look like it’s glowing from within, so basically it’s like an instant makeover. This filter can turn anyone from a pale uggo to a bronzed goddess just like that. Even when you’re at your ugliest state (like when your wake up hungover with your makeup smeared all over your face), this filter somehow makes you pretty. HOW?! It’s sorcery. Girls who love this filter love nothing more than getting dressed up to the nines with a full face of makeup on and going out because they love feeling pretty, and that’s exactly what this filter does.
This filter also changes your voice by raising it about 8 octaves until you literally sound like a woodland fairy. Girls don’t use this filter to show off how pretty they are, they use it to show off how cute they are. The big eyes, the antennas, the rosy cheeks, the voice change, it all makes you seem cute and tiny and adorable. Girls who love this filter probably don’t sleep around. They’re looking for a serious relationship or not even looking for a relationship at all. They make straight A’s and are active in their sorority and clubs. They’re probably planning on taking the GRE soon or are going to medical/law school. These girls are not obsessed with their looks, they’re obsessed with their resumes.
The Flower Crown
Girls who love the flower crown are Queen of the basics. The flower crown has been around for awhile, but as new, better filters popped up, its reign as the best filter is over. Girls who love the flower crown filter are stuck in their ways. They love white wine (even though rosé is having a moment right now), Starbucks (even though Coffee Bean is better), and they probably still wear a flower crown in real life (even though flower crowns are out and mermaid crowns are in). They spend their nights crafting the perfect paddle, crying to sappy rom-coms because they remind them of how single they are, and over-analyzing texts from guys. Simply put, girls who love the flower crown filter don’t know how to move on to bigger and better things/filters.
The Greek Goddess
This filter is for girls who know they’re hot shit. While the gold butterfly filter changes your face structure and adds makeup, this filter just adds a beaming gold light above your head, which is basically just a giant arrow pointing out how hot you (think you) are. Girls who love this filter are the kind of girls who record themselves lip-syncing in the car, even though those kinds of snaps are almost as awful and pointless as concert snaps. They don’t care — they’re not doing it because they just ~love~ singing, they’re doing it because they look good doing it. This filter is for girls whose most used app is Facetune and refreshes their Instagram like count every ten seconds.
The Frowning Filter/Any Ugly Filter
Girls who love using ugly filters are my heroes. They don’t care about looking good, they just want to be funny. They’re obsessed with Amy Schumer and Iliza Shlesinger and probably make fun of girls who use the Greek Goddess filter while actually wearing the frowning filter. While most girls use Snapchat for selfies, these girls use it as a comedic outlet. Their stories are actual stories instead of selfies. The girls who regularly use the ugly filters choose the ugly filters because they’d rather be funny than pretty, and as an avid user of the gold butterfly filter, I respect that..