Spoons (Girl As The Little Spoon)
Aw, you want to be the little spoon? You want to curl up with your bearded-boyfriend under your white, Egyptian cotton sheets? You want your #MCM’s arm to fall asleep and make him deal with your itchy hair in his face every single night? Of course you do. You don’t know if it’s because you’re basic AF, or because it feels so good. Either way, whenever you get ready to go to sleep, you. are. little. spoon. He knows better than to argue it.
Spoons (Girl As The Big Spoon)
You plan to make as much, if not more than your man in the work force. Wake up early to work out? Yeah, you’re down. Meal prep, cleaning schedule, and your days planned down perfectly to the half hour? That’s you. You’re a boss ass bitch. An in charge woman. The person who wears the pants. You take charge. You lead the way. You make the plans. And you don’t have time for a guy to sweat on you all night. Sorry buddy, but the woman who’s the big spoon is in charge of the sleeping position, and the relationship.
The Hand Holding
Let me guess, he’s your best friend, right? He’s the peanut butter to your jelly? He just gets you. You’re a strange mix of being one of the guys, while also being a total girl. You love wine, but you aren’t a total bitch about sports. You’re always down for an E! marathon, buuuut you still laugh your ass off at “boy comedy.” On one hand people (read: his/your friends) could hate you for it, but you’re too damn adorable. The worst part? You’re totally in love, and everyone knows it. 10/10 he brings home flowers “just because” and you go down on him, even when it’s not his birthday.
The Ass Grab
I’m going to be honest here, everyone sort of hates you. But not in a bad way. In a “they wish they were you” way. You and whatever guy is lucky enough to be with you are actual goals. You have common, weird AF interests, like documentaries about whales or eating dessert before dinner. If your compatibility in all of life wasn’t annoying, your compatibility in the bedroom sure is. Sometimes it’s romantic. Sometimes it’s animalistic. But no matter what, it’s always fire.
The Casual Overlap
Some couples say that they’re best friends, but you two? You really are. You respect each other. You value each other. You’re crazy about each other in a quiet way. While you love each other, and being together, you also love not being together. You have your own lives and you have your own dreams, but chances are they sort of overlap, just like your bodies in bed.
YOU. JUST. LOVE. HIM. SO. MUCH. If you koala onto your man at night (you know, your leg over his body, your face on his chest, basically wrapping him up in your body heat), then you pretty much just know. This is the guy. You feel comfortable enough with him to latch on, and he loves you enough to let you. Most likely you can act totally gross around him, and he still tells you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Annoying to everyone else? Totally. Does it matter? Not at all. Eat. that. shit. up. But if he’s the koala? Get out. Get out now.
The Facing Fetal
You know those people who just curl up into little balls, face each other, and gaze into the eyes of their loved ones while they slowly drift off to sleep? Yeah. Me neither. But they exist, trust. These are the people to fear. When you’re not busy making literally all of your dreams come true, you’re plotting your next move. Total romantics, you two get off on being perfect in every aspect. Perfect life? Check. Perfect relationship? Check. Perfect sex? Check, check, check.
Literally No Touching
These people. These are the real people. You’re not trying to “wow” exes with your Instagram. And when your friends go out with you two, they don’t want to kill themselves because you’re basically having sex in the restaurant. Chances are they can be with you guys without feeling like a horrible person who will die alone. He’s in on your friend circle, and you’re in on his. Sure, you don’t touch when you’re asleep in bed. But when you’re awake in bed? You put every one else to shame.
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