What To Do If You And Your Big Don’t Get Along

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I know what you’re thinking: “How could a big not possibly be in love with her little and not spend every waking moment wanting to hang out with her?!” The truth is, many new members don’t hit it off with their bigs for a while after being matched with each other. Some girls don’t ever really have a relationship with their big sisters. But rather than sulking and worrying about not having a relationship with the ONE person in the sorority who is responsible for helping you in times of need, just face the problem and move on.

Let’s look at it from the big’s perspective in this situation. Being a big sister is like being a parent. You’re always supposed to be proud of your little. You are supposed to guide her when she needs help or when things go wrong, and you always should give her your best advice based off of your past life experiences. However, some parents just aren’t meant to be parents, and some bigs just aren’t meant to be big sisters. Maybe your big has an extremely difficult course load and is always in the library. Maybe she’s bad at opening up to people outside of her immediate circle of friends. No matter the reason, as long as you tried to get to know your big, if you don’t have a relationship with her, it isn’t your fault.

In your eyes, not having a big sister who is always there for you can be difficult and hard to handle. Thoughts of possible wrongdoings go through your head. You might wonder what things would be like if you had another big. You will probably find yourself questioning why she even took you in the first place–and worst of all, you will probably start to think the only reason you got matched with her was because no one else wanted you. This is a normal reaction to a situation like yours. But that doesn’t mean you should spend months pining over her not giving a shit about you. She clearly doesn’t care, so why should you care about her?

If you see her at a party and she actually says hi to you, then definitely say hi back. Maybe take a quick picture, but for the most part, act like she isn’t there. If you’re at the house together and she ignores you because she decided to try to make things as awkward as they could possibly be, ignore her. Talk to everyone but her. Honestly, who cares if you think what you’re doing is a bitch move? It’s not like she cares.

The truth is, you would not be a sister in your sorority had your sisters not seen you as having a place in the chapter. You probably wouldn’t have made the friends you made if you didn’t have things in common with them. So what if your friends take adorable big and little pictures? Who cares if your pledge sisters regard their bigs as their soul mates and vice versa? It hurts and it sucks a lot to miss out on that bond, but just remember all of this next year when you get a little.

There is no point in feeling bad if someone doesn’t want to take the time to get to know you. It’s that person’s loss in the end. You might not be too close with your big, but chances are you might get along really well with your grandbig or your big’s twin. Your family is supposed to make your chapter smaller, but it isn’t meant to define you.

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Swizzy is a northern sorority girl, born and raised amongst the cows. However, once she gets out of college she plans on moving to a big old city. When she's not working on her future political career, Swizzy can be found crafting, shopping, golfing, or video blogging.

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