It doesn’t matter if you’re single and inviting a booty call over or if you’re been dating the same guy for years, every relationship or pseudo-relationship involves Netflix. It’s the premise of every booty call, because “Hey, want to come over to my place and watch Netflix?” is a little less forward than saying “Hey, want to come over to my place and smash our genitals together?”
Personally, I think it’s the key to turning every hook up into a relationship. If you start watching a show on Netflix together, he has an excuse to come back over and over again, which gives prime opportunity to see and talk to each about more than just that thing that he does that makes your toes curl. The show you watch on Netflix together is crucial to the outcome of your relationship. If you’re already in a relationship, watching Netflix is a whole lot cheaper than going out on a real date, so this is probably what you end up doing six out of seven nights a week. The show you watch together says a lot about the couple you are, or the couple you could be.
1. How I Met Your Mother
If you start watching this show together, you’re in it for the long haul. HIMYM is nine seasons long, and while the guy watching it with you might think he’s a Barney, he’s probably more of a Ted. He’a a little goofy, but in a charming way. He cares about you more than you probably expected when you drunkenly asked him to go home with you one night. Yeah, that’s right, you asked him to go home with you because he was probably too shy to muster up the courage. But it doesn’t matter, because what he lacks in assertiveness he makes up for in the bedroom.
Your relationship will blissfully go from booty call to boyfriend in three months or less, and you and your mom will totally fall in love with him.
2. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
You’re probably described as a “chill” girl by other people, and you don’t agree nor disagree with that sentiment, because you’re just that chill. You not promiscuous, per se, but you’ll never turn down a hot guy who whispers in your ear, “You wanna get out of here?” while grabbing a fist full of ass. You always take a guy back to your place, because fuck walks of shame. The guys you date are ex-football players or ex-lacrosse players who all have head injuries which somehow render them incapable of showing empathy or emotion. But hey, you have your own issues, and you think it’s kind of cute how stupid he is. You watch It’s Always Sunny because that’s what you picked, and he doesn’t mind because he was too busy trying too unhook your bra to give any input. The sex lasts a disappointing four minutes, but it’s okay because you wanted to see how Charlie is going to get out of the mess he created in this episode.
You’ll be hookup buddies for approximately four to six weeks before you get bored and move on.
To watch Narcos, you have to be in a committed relationship. And not just a committed relationship, but a committed relationship where you actively enjoy binging on a show together. As in, you’ll put off sex until you watch one more episode because it’s so freaking good. Narcos isn’t the show to have on in the background while you’re doing the dirty. The show is mostly in Spanish, so unless you both know Spanish, you have to be paying attention. It’s probably something your boyfriend picked after you made him watch all nine seasons of How I Met Your Mother, so you let him win this one. To your surprise, it’s actually really freaking good and now you’re both addicted.
Your relationship is probably still in that honeymoon stage where you want him to be happy and think he has a say in the relationship. LOL. Little does he know, after you finish watching Narcos you’re going to make him watch something like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt or 30 Rock. He’ll pretend to hate it, but secretly he loves it.
4. Master of None
You’ve been dating for at least a year, and one of you is probably out of college already. You also thoroughly enjoy reading Post Grad Problems, and on the rare date night, you like going to comedy shows together. You binge watched the entire first season in a weekend while drinking boxed wine out of a mason jar. Your relationship is comfortable and easy, and if you don’t live together already, you probably will soon. You both gained about ten pounds since you first started dating, but it doesn’t matter because your relationship is just that strong.
5. One Tree Hill
He’s gay. Or he’s a pussy. Either way, ditch the guy and finish watching OTH with your girlfriends like the rest of us. .