I’m sure that by now, we’ve all gotten over the “earth-shattering” news that after living in sin since 2005 and having a bunch of kids, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie finally tied the knot, and the whole world was waiting for them to do so. Well, except maybe Robin Givens and Jennifer Aniston.
And since the world was chomping at the bit for Brangelina to finally be a legally binding celeb couple name, the couple did the only reasonable thing they could do, which is “sell their wedding pictures to ‘People’ Magazine,” because of course. What’s the point of having a “private family moment” with a 20-person wedding “in the chapel of Château Miraval, the family’s estate in the French village of Correns” if you’re not gonna turn around and sell your pictures to the tabloids? That’s what being a celebrity is all about.
But I think what we need to discuss for a minute is Angelina’s dress.
The dress itself is fierce and she looks, scientifically speaking, bangin’ as hell from the front, but it’s covered in CARTOONS, drawn by HER CHILDREN. I’m gonna have to say No to the Dress, folks, even though it was designed by Luigi Massi, the master tailor at Atelier Versace.
“Luigi is like family to me and I couldn’t imagine anyone else making this dress,” says Jolie. “He knows and cares for the children and it was great fun putting it together.”
The kids were apparently all over this wedding too. Maddox and Pax walked Angelina down the aisle, Brad borrowed a tie from one of his sons because he forgot to pack one, Zahara and Vivienne served as flower girls, and Knox and Shiloh Nouvelle Jolie-Pitt were the ring bearers. Pax also baked the wedding cake, because that’s what ten year olds do when your parents have all the world’s money and fame.
More power to the Jolie-Pitt clan, but I could do without “Family Circus” and “Garfield” adorning Angelina’s ass-cheeks.
Whatever. Jen would have worn it better anyway.