Ah, day drinking. A favorite past time for many college students, and the first skill set listed on my résumé. Like most realists, I’ve always preferred day drinking to daydreaming. But even though I 100% dig bouncing around block parties and bonging beers on strangers’ decks, I can’t help but wonder if this is a habit we should all try to kick at some point. Have we made major strides by declaring that it’s socially acceptable to be tipsy by 11 A.M., so long as you’re mixing with orange juice? Or is the notion as evil as our parents and landlords think it is? Let’s find out.
Pro: You Have An Excuse To Enjoy Nice Weather
I firmly believe that the only way to truly appreciate a sunny day is with a drink in one hand, and another drink in your other hand. There comes a point in every girl’s life when she faces facts and realizes that beautiful weather is basically crafted for drinking on patios and lawns, because #nature. Blue skies and a light breeze is mother nature’s way of saying, “It’s time to get shitfaced, my children.”
Con: You’ll Have The World’s Earliest Hangover
Let’s be honest. Unless you are a literal tank, there’s no way you can booze the way you normally do from noon til midnight. You’re going to give up around six, and be sporting a splitting headache by the time the pizza guy is bringing you 18 dollars worth of carbohydrates that you will most likely throw up. Unless you power through and keep rallying for the night, which I do not recommend. Nobody wakes up the morning after day drinking and thinks, “Wow, I definitely don’t regret everything that happened at the last three bars I went to last night.”
Pro:You Get To Wear Adult Play Clothes
Assuming you’re a complete sociopath, your dartying outfits probably consist of something along the lines tank tops, leggings and sneakers. In other words, adult play clothes. The perfect ensemble to sport when you recognize that there is a possibility that you will be running from the cops at some point. I don’t even think it’s possible to have a bad time when your outfit allows for so much movement. You also get to don a pair of sunglasses, which simultaneously aid your buzz and hide your half-assed eye makeup. It’s a win-win all around.
Con: Your Homework Will Probably Take A Hit
Even if you stop drinking at a reasonable hour, the jungle juice will probably be chillin’ in your system for a good 10-12 hours. Which means you will absolutely neglect your homework. The worst part is that darties usually come together at the last minute, and in the middle of making your gametime decision, you completely forgot you had shit to do. You won’t remember your until you’re too shitfaced to fix the situation. At least you’ll be too drunk to properly judge yourself.
Pro:You Get To Celebrate Having Zero Responsibilities
Ever wondered why so many college students choose to day drink? BECAUSE WE CAN. You don’t have a full time job, or children, or a mortgage. What you have is a handle of store-brand liquor and flat soda. You have the rest of your life to spend beautiful days running errands or hiking or doing other semi-productive shit. Your twenties are for realizing that anything between 75 and 95 is day drinking weather, so get to it.
Con: You’re The Drunkest Person Everywhere You Go
When you’re out on a Saturday night, it’s normal for a number of people in pretty much any given vicinity to be drunk. But when you’re shitcanned off mimosas at 11:00 on a Sunday morning, people will probably judge. Fuck ’em. It’s your world, you can drown yourself in champagne whenever you damn well please.
So, what’s the verdict? Is enjoying a cloudless sky is worth the blinding headache at dinner? Is getting sauced in leggings worth taking a shitty grade on the essay you completely forgot about? Is it ridiculous for you to be acting like a moron in public, or should you just say “fuck it” and continue acting like a drunken idiot?
I really can’t decide. Might have to drink on it. .