United States No Longer the Fattest Country in the World


Aside from the expected arrival of a royal, distant cousin in the near future (because we’re all technically the bastard sons of the British monarchy, obviously), Americans have something else to celebrate: we’re no longer the fattest country in the world.

Mexico is finally winning at something, and that something is having the highest obesity rate of any country on planet Earth. Congratulations are in order, of course, to our neighbors south of the border for utilizing the widespread availability of cheap junk food, lack of industrialized agriculture, and an influx of fast food chains to pull ahead of Americans in their pursuit of fatass-ness. The country boasts an adult obesity rate of 32.8%. America is still a close second with 31.8%.

Either way, I think it’s great America is working on slimming down…or at least helping shift the blame elsewhere to make it look as if we are. I think it’s safe to say Lady Liberty couldn’t be the hottest bitch if she were also the fattest one, and thankfully, she isn’t anymore. Close call.

So now, aside from gang violence, diabetes is the leading killer of Mexicans. I don’t know how anyone could be remotely surprised by these findings. I’ve been on eight-day benders in Acapulco, and if it weren’t for the extracurricular TOTALLY LEGAL substances I partook in, I probably would have gained, like, eight pounds a day in Mexico. The Cancun resort diet is basically margaritas and some fried entity accompanied by beans. That food is death wrapped in a tortilla, and I can’t imagine that the addition of millions of fast food chains has made it any better for the people of good, old Mexico to get their skinny on.

I’m also unclear as to whether the CrossFit revolution has taken Mexico by storm yet, but I’m definitely guessing Instagram hasn’t. We all know the only way to go on a diet these days is by taking a picture of your food, putting a filter on it and making it #paleo, which obviously makes you skinny, right?

I also think the ultra conservatives can breathe a collective sigh of relief, because I’m positive it’s much harder to jump over borders and fences, or run from border patrol when you’re overweight.

[via Daily News]

Image via International Science Times


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