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This New App Will Tell You Whether Or Not Your Friends Suck

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There are apps that track just about everything: how many steps I took today, what I ate, what dudes I went out with, what dudes I should go out with, and when I’m most likely to get pregnant (thank the Lord for that one). But now, because we have seemingly become completely incapable of figuring anything out for ourselves without the assistance of an app, there is one to tell us how our friends make us feel and whether we should keep them around.

Pplkpr (pronounced “people keeper,” but apparently the founders don’t like vowels) is a new app that uses your heartbeat to measure how you feel about the people you spend time with. Using a wristband to study the changes in your heart rate, Pplkpr will rank the people in your life by how they make you feel: happy, sad, anxious, calm, bored, scared, aroused, and so on. It will even automatically text or tweet you the people it thinks you should hang out with more and delete the contacts in your phone of people who you should delete from your life. A promo video for the app on Pplkpr’s site shows a woman discussing what she learned during her trial run with the app. “Maybe I shouldn’t hang out with Mark,” she says. “Maybe he’s kind of a dick.” Mark may be a dick, sweetie, but at least he probably doesn’t need an app to know that he shouldn’t hang around with jerks.

According to Fast Company Design, the founders market Pplkpr “as a solution for managing our ’emotional bandwidth,’ optimizing our social lives to automatically spend more time with people who make us feel good.” Apparently, we are no longer smart enough to decide that for ourselves. But at least now I can use “my app told me we can’t be friends anymore” as an excuse to break up with that friend who keeps texting me to get coffee, right?

[via Fast Company Design]

Image via Shutterstock

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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