I’m not in a sorority. The most I was involved with Greek life occurred on random Saturday nights when my friends and I would innocently stroll into a frat party, where we were greeted with kegs and jungle juice. The frat guys seemed like total tools, and the sorority girls looked like wannabe Urban Outfitter models.
I had a lot of assumptions about frats, sororities, and Greek life as a whole. I thought the frat guys would sleep with anything with legs, and the sorority girls looked catty and inclusive. That was until sophomore year, where I started dating a frat guy and all of my assumptions about Greek life totally changed.
I met him in the middle of freshman year, and our friendship blossomed into a relationship after our first week as sophomores. Yes, he seemed like a total douche of a frat guy in the beginning. After all, most of the time we spent together before we dated he was drunk or high. Of course, I was drunk most of the time too, but that’s beside the point.
After a relentless seven months of constant texts, and me switching off between complaining about him to actually enjoying our conversations, I decided to give him a try. I didn’t know what to expect or if it would even turn into anything serious. Long story short, he asked me out, and since then we’ve been dating for over a year.
Throughout this year, he’s taught me more about Greek life than I ever imagined caring for. Dating a frat guy when you have no relation to Greek life is an experience in itself. I was welcomed with open arms to the many sororities he had friends in, and I saw another side to the frat guys I had previously labeled as tool bags. Although some moments were confusing, like the time he invited me to date night and couldn’t explain which dress was appropriate, or when he would come back from hanging out with the pledges and wasn’t allowed to tell me what went on, it was an incredibly eye opening experience.
My thoughts on Greek life completely changed. I loved learning about this secret world outside of my own, and finding out answers questions that had plagued me since the beginning of college, like what PNM and GDI means, how bidding works, and what goes on during Greek week and the many mixer themes. He went over the concept of tiers and explained each sorority’s reputation and how it honestly doesn’t matter.
Dating a frat guy was kind of like dating the entirety of Greek life. With him came a whole group of people I thought I had already figured out. It was liberating to finally understand the dynamic of Greek culture from an outside perspective. I realized how wrong the stereotype is. How not everyone involved with Greek life is wealthy and how their friendships are actually 110 percent genuine. I learned that they are responsible when it comes to class and making the grades, and that they truly care about the charities they raise money for.
When I talk to fellow GDIs about sororities and they assume they’re all stuck up, I stop and remind them how there are bitchy girls in sororities just as often as there are bitchy girls not in sororities. People can make assumptions about pretty much any group, and while those assumptions can be true, that doesn’t mean they’re always true. Correlation does not mean causation, and speculating someone’s personality based on their after class activity is ignorant.
Dating a frat guy opened my eyes and altered my view of a world I had foolishly predefined, and I’m honestly so glad I was able to meet such amazing people who completely changed my idea of Greek life.
From the outside looking in, maybe you can understand it. You just have to give it a try..