This Buzzkill Researcher Thinks You Should Switch To Wine With A Lower Alcohol Content…And Like It

This Buzzkill Researcher Thinks You Should Switch To Wine With A Lower Alcohol Content...And Like It

In news that will make you question the very validity of your girls only wine nights, Elite Daily via Fox News reports that there’s new research suggesting we prefer the taste of wine that contains less alcohol.

The study, performed at the Basque Center of Cognition, Brain and Language in Spain, had participants taste a variety of red wines while an MRI machine measured brain activity in the flavor receptor regions of their brains (side note: why weren’t there awesome studies like this to volunteer for when I took Psych 101?). Results showed greater activation in the regions when participants sampled wine with less alcohol. There was less activation in the regions when sampling wine with higher alcohol content, which suggests that we prefer the taste of wine that isn’t full of everybody’s favorite party starter, alcohol.

Experts speculate that this preference is due to the fact stronger alcohol content tends to muddle the flavors of wine, which NO DUH. I’m sorry, but why was there a study on this in the first place? Obviously wine with lower alcohol content tastes better. It’s practically Juicy-Juice. Literally just grapes and some other fruits. Just a straight-up fruit salad in there without alcohol.

The only people I know who drink wine “for taste” are my obnoxious wine connoisseur uncle and a bunch of older Italian relatives who already have one foot in the grave. No young person drinks alcoholic beverages for taste. If we did, we wouldn’t be so partial to the least delicious way to drink: shots. We drink because it’s a social lubricant that allows us to brave the ruthless jungle that is our twenties. Besides, I can only afford Franzia and Two Buck Chuck so it’s not exactly like I have a very developed palate.

I suggest you pair this news with a cheese plate and get weird on alcohol-full wine. Embrace the hangover that results.

[via Elite Daily, Fox News, PubMed]

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I came for the wine, but I stayed for the complimentary appetizer sampler plate.

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