LOL diets. We’ve all been there. We pinned “thinspiration.” We spent $100 at the grocery store buying all organic and vegan food (only to order pizza almost every night and let all that “high fiber” produce go to waste). We tried the South Beach, pea soup, and the “only eat foods without shadows” diets with very little success.
But this time, this diet is PROVEN to work.
It’s called Banana Island, and the premise of it is that you just eat bananas. A lot of bananas. Like, 30 bananas a day a lot. For one week. I don’t know if you have better results if you just so happen to live on an island, but I’ve heard that mainlanders do this insane challenge, too.
“Mono diets” have been around for a long time and haven’t had much success in a longer amount of time. Or ever, really. This could partly be because the thought of eating only ONE thing for a week is disgusting and partly because eating only one thing for a week (or any other period of time) is unhealthy. We know that. We learned that from the food pyramid in second grade when we thought having six servings of carbohydrates a day was no big deal. Fucking metabolism.
But the Banana Island diet WILL work, despite the fact that eating 30 bananas a day means you consume around 3,000 calories a day. That’s way more than you should eat to lose weight, or ever. (Well, unless you’re going through a breakup or you’re on your period. Calories don’t count then.) There’s also the fact that it has to be physically impossible to eat 30 bananas a day. Also, cupcakes exist.
It seems as if the whole Banana Island thing started in Japan (which just so happens to be an island) but after a recent spike in search engine questions concerning the amount of calories in a banana, it could have made its way to the good ol’ US of A.
While this has to be one of the crazier attempts at losing weight I’ve seen recently (considering the fact that everyone is now all about that #CleanEating and #FitFam) I have a few tips for you if you decide to attempt this diet:
1. Move to an actual island, because no one will want to listen to you complain about how you don’t want to eat another banana again and how you actually GAINED weight while eating your body mass in carb-filled fuit.
2. Eat banana cupcakes, banana ice cream, and banana cream pie. They’re more delicious and I’m sure it will still do the trick.
3. Don’t do the Banana Island diet. Eat healthy to lose weight or just eat whatever the hell you want and Instagram pictures of your friend’s salad and pretend it was yours. Everyone knows that if you post pictures of healthy food, you’re bound to lose weight. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.
Diets these days, guys. This shit is bananas.