Sex is everywhere. Literally. Our evening’s plans center on it, our conversations with our friends are littered with it, and hell, our favorite television shows have it in the title. It makes sense–I mean, sex is amazing. It’s Earth-shattering, mind-blowing, and each and every time, it’s an all-out orgasmic experience. You feel truly connected with another human while insisting you’ve never experienced pleasure like this before, all thanks to his subpar thrusting.
In reality, sex isn’t always all that amazing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool. It’s a good pastime. It makes the guy you like happy, you’ll burn a few calories, and a lot of the time he’ll buy you Taco Bell and let you pick the movie after. Win. But, for some reason, I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t the 1940s. We’re not supposed to smile while our husband has his way with us and then go make him a sandwich once he’s finished. We’re supposed to be sexually liberated. We’re supposed to be so in love with sex that we just can’t get enough. Gone are the days of putting a man’s pleasure over our own and not giving a shit about getting off ourselves. It’s time we take back our orgasms, and Alexandra Fine and Janet Lieberman are here to help.
These two saints have created a vibrator made specifically for sex. It’s called Eva, and it is an orgasm changer.
Basically, it’s a “hands-free, strap-free, non-intrusive couples’ vibrator.” It rests directly and securely on a woman’s clitoris while being held in place by two magic little angel wings. According to our leading ladies, they designed this product to “close the pleasure gap.” Apparently, we’ve been screwed in more ways than one. Rumor has it that 70 percent of women NEED clitoral stimulation to get off. Unfortunately, we don’t get it most of the times during heterosexual banging. You have to be in the exact right position with the exact right amount of alcohol in your system while he kisses you in the exact right place, and it’s almost easier to just admit defeat. Or, you decide to make it happen and bring a giant vibrator into bed and hope he doesn’t pass out in fear before you get to explain. It’s exhausting, and not to mention, awkward. This is where Eva comes in.
In the past, men have been twice as likely as women to reach an orgasm during sex. This personal orgasm assistant will help level the playing field. It comes with three different speeds that will make orgasming faster and more likely for you.
Evidence suggests that this little motorized piece of heaven is a “must buy.” The device raised $179,142 in its campaign only a week after launching and beta testers are literally screaming in ecstasy about how great it is, so I’d say it’s worth the $85. The price goes up to $105 in February when it’s officially on the market, but honestly, can you really put a price on orgasms?
No. The answer is no.
God bless you, Alexandra and Janet. Thank you for giving us the ability to always orgasm and a reason to have sex, other than possible free Taco Bell. I mean, I’ll still take the Taco Bell–but with a side of sexual liberty and orgasms for all..
[via Huffington Post]