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These Penis And Vagina Masks Are The Perfect Couple Halloween Costumes For Sociopaths

These Penis And Vagina Masks Are The Perfect Couple Halloween Costumes And In No Way Terrifying

One of the hardest parts of being in a relationship (besides the fact that you can’t tell him exactly what you want him to do and he never wants to take cute pictures with you) is trying to convince your boyfriend to wear a couples costume with you. The irony is that it’s one of the main reasons we *want* a boyfriend is to have a couples costume, and yet once you have one you realize that boyfriends do not like couples costumes. Smdh.

Last year the world was first graced with the most epic costume of all time. But, because everyone was too distracted with being Harley Quinn to pay attention, it got swept under the rug. So, I hope everyone will get their head out of their vaginas because this year there’s an obvious winner for the best due Halloween costume, and there’s no way your guy will say no. It’s not the Jon Snow and Daenerys. And it’s not Trump and Hillary (or Bill and Monica). Instead, it’s what every guy secretly wants to be.

A giant penis. And for his leading lady? A giant fucking vagina.

Seriously. That’s the costume. Basically, the world discovered that sometimes in the BDSM community, people wear giant genitalia masks. I’m not sure why, but whatever. Different strokes for different folks. The point is, painfully realistic masks of our favorite body parts exist in the world. And honestly? If you haven’t considered being a giant cunt for Halloween, you’re not living your best life.

Now, because posting pictures of these masks would basically be like posting literal dick pics, I can’t exactly do that to you. Sorry, friends. What I can do, however, is link the masks here, so you can view, scream, and consider buying one and winning any and all costume contests, as well as the label of “sex offender” on your record.

First up, the vagina mask, proving that something so wonderful can actually be pretty effing horrifying. It looks more like something out of “Stranger Things” than something most of us have between our legs but alas, that’s just life. Prepare your soul, and click here if you want to see a person with a vag for a head.

And, not to be outdone, the penis mask. Because it turns out, the only thing more horrifying than a giant dick, is a giant dick with a giant dick on his head. Click here if you want your life to change forever.

So, just in case you haven’t had your costumes planned since mid-July, know that it’s not too late. There’s still time make Halloween history and be the biggest dick at the party.

[h/t Cosmopolitan]

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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