When I was in kindergarten, my mom gave me a Beanie Baby pig for Valentine’s Day and the present quickly became my favorite thing in the whole entire world. I decided immediately that “it” was actually a girl and promptly named her Susan after my own mother. Susan and I went everywhere together for about three years until a boy named Kirk Young in my 3rd grade class told me that “only babies carry around stuffed animals.” From that point, I left Susan at home while I was at school, but my love for her — and all other pigs for that matter — never ceased. Much to the dismay of my near 30-year-old boyfriend, I still have Susan the pig, and am not so secretly planning for the day that I get a real life version of her.
If I had to pinpoint my favorite thing about pigs, I couldn’t do it. It would seriously be impossible for me to say just one thing, because, honest to God, I love everything about them. They’re cute and cuddly and sassy and are actually really smart in real life. Basically, they’re just fatter, pinker versions of puppies. And apparently, sometimes they even think they are a puppy.
Everyone: meet Amy, the 5-month-old pig who THINKS SHE IS A DOG.
My level of can’t even is at an all time low right now. All I can say is that I hope Amy starts competing in dog shows — and that there better be a follow up news story about it. I need to see the look on the judges’ faces when she trots in all like “What are you looking at, losers? Haven’t you ever seen a pink dog before?” That bitch will clean house for sure. .