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There Are Some Things Only Blondes Will Understand

Blondes

I wake up every day and feel blessed for inheriting my mom’s blonde locks, and I feel a bond with light-haired beauties everywhere for a few reasons. Besides being the subject of many country songs, blondes across the globe can understand the perks and the downfalls of the “we have more fun than you” hair color:

  1. People accuse us of not being naturally blonde. Just because my eyebrows are darker than my hair, it doesn’t mean I’m pulling a Miley.
  2. “Wow, your hair looks dark today!” I haven’t showered today. Or yesterday.
  3. “Did you get low lights?” Again, no. I just haven’t bathed yet.
  4. Being called a “dishwater blonde” just sounds awful. Uh yeah, that’s my natural hair color. Don’t remind me.
  5. DAMAGE. Every flyaway is incredibly noticeable. Even though I should listen to my hairdresser’s suggestion and not blow dry/straighten/curl/blowout my hair every 12 hours, I can’t.
  6. Don’t even think about being blonde, pale, and wearing white. It’s safe to pick two of those, but if I go with all three, I’ll essentially look like a snow queen.
  7. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve looked like a Barbie or gotten a Barbie-esque comment while wearing pink, I could buy the entire brand.
  8. Just because I get highlights, it doesn’t mean I’m not a natural sun goddess.
  9. Baby powder and dry shampoo have saved my life too many times.
  10. Any hint of brassiness drives me insane. Thank God for purple shampoo.
  11. If I put a bow in my hair, I instantly turn into a 5-year-old girl. I’m okay with it, but some people don’t like that look.
  12. No, Cinderella doesn’t have to be my favorite Disney Princess. She is, but doesn’t have to be.
  13. Working out? Have fun with noticeably sweaty locks after five minutes.
  14. God bless my hairdresser. I bring in shades of blonde from Pinterest and Google searches that she could never duplicate.
  15. I get my hair done and I can already see my roots in two weeks. The same applies for brassiness.
  16. Blingles (blonde and single, with a side of psycho) face multiple struggles. When did being blonde start meaning we’re also nut jobs?
  17. Doing your hair with a dark colored shirt on? LOL, good luck. I keep a lint roller on hand, or else people will think I’ve been playing with a Golden Retriever all morning.
  18. Dumb blonde jokes followed by a “JK, you’re smart” are so 2001.
  19. We stand out like shooting stars among a crowd of brunettes.
  20. I hate the question, “I wonder how you would look as a brunette?” UM, BAD.

I wouldn’t trade my blonde hair for anything, but the struggles are very, very real.

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BlingleWhiteFemale

BlingleWhiteFemale (@BlingleWhiteFem) is a single blonde female who spends her days campaigning for First Lady. She is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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