The Waiting Game — A Guy Weighs In

The Waiting Game

We’ve heard it time and time again: “Women play too many games.” Why? Because it’s true. You play hard to get, you play cat and mouse, you play so many games we don’t even know what to call them anymore. However, the one that goes unnoticed by many, is the one that causes the most problems: the waiting game. Hard to get can be fun — every guy enjoys the thrill of the chase — but the waiting game frustrates us to no end.

Now, Hollywood will have you believe that everlasting love is born out of thin air; the smooth talking gentleman in a suit strolls over, buys the lady a drink, asks her to dance, and sweeps her off her feet. So, a woman is not entirely at fault when she is seen sitting at the bar nursing her vodka cranberry, eyeing every attractive guy in sight, and waiting — yes, waiting — idly buying her time until the guy grows a pair of balls and makes her the star of her own romantic comedy. Alas, despite her efforts, she remains an extra on a barstool in the background of a Van Wilder type flick. Yet again, when the final credits roll, her name does not appear. Such a tragedy…or is it?

Ladies, I truly hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this…this is not Hollywood. It’s the real world. It’s a place void of plots, scripts, and tailor-made characters. The events that unfold before your eyes on the silver screen are a facade meant to inspire people, to entertain, and to give them something to hope for in life. Now, join me, if you will, in reality.

It’s not going to happen, that aforementioned scenario. I mean, it could, but I’m not here to blow smoke up your ass. The reason that it is unlikely to come to fruition is because of you. Yes, you. It is not because you are unattractive. And it isn’t because your body language screams, “DO NOT DISTURB!” So what are you doing wrong? Nothing. You are doing nothing.

Every girl in every bar is hoping that some guy will walk up and show interest in her. If not, then all of that time spent on your hair, makeup, and outfit has been wasted. However, most guys, do not approach you. Why? Again, ladies, it’s you.

Let me explain. Guys go to bars because of you. We love to see the beautiful faces, the great bodies, and the ways in which those bodies move on the dance floor. We also show up with the hopes of meeting a girl (motives vary). However, it usually ends in rejection or insult. So, now, you have a lot of girls dressed up for each other and just as many guys who are hesitant to approach them.

There are hundreds of reasons why a guy may not approach a girl he’s interested in: insecurity, shyness, intimidation, nerves, a fear of rejection, etc.

Perhaps, he is speechless because you’re the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and he believes that you would never give him the time of day. He’s met girls like you. He grew up with them. He went to school with them. The girl who always lit up the room and turned every head. She could’ve had any guy that she wanted, and it was never him. In his mind, nothing has changed, so why bother?

Or maybe he’s been told, “Fuck off, jerk” one too many times and doesn’t feel like wearing a drink tonight. Maybe he stutters when he is nervous and is too insecure, because he has been picked on his whole life because of it.

Whatever his reason is for not approaching you, you are still to blame. Because you still do nothing, same as him. It’s not his fault for not walking over and introducing himself. It’s your fault for expecting it and not doing a damned thing about it, because it’s unconventional.

I’ve always been told, “If you want something, go get it,” and I believe that it’s true. No success story starts with, “So I was sitting at the bar…”. Nothing is going to happen if you don’t do something. This is the point where you can either be the girl thinking and wishing, or the one dancing and laughing. It’s up to you. All you have to do is break the rules and get off of your pretty little ass.

So, if you want to talk to that cute guy at the bar and dance with him and have him sweep you off of your feet…make him. Walk up to HIM. Buy HIM a drink. Ask HIM to dance. Sweep HIM off of HIS feet.

Be what every guys dreams of: different. Be that girl who breaks the rules, surprises the shit out of him, and forces him to overcome his fear of rejection or break out of his shell. Women love a guy who is confident, right? Well, imagine how much confidence he will gain if a girl approached HIM. You know that feeling. A guy walks up and hits on you, you reject him because you’re acting like a bitch and think you’re too good for him and/or All guys are the same…but for the rest of the night, or even week, you feel like hot shit because guys want to bang you. Same rule applies here. Make him feel like hot shit.

Wanna know why 1 in 5 relationships start online these days? Because those girls are trying. They are putting themselves out there saying “Hey boy, I like you. Let’s talk.” Why should it be any different in the “real world”? As much as you love playing games, stop playing the “waiting game.” Get your ass off the bench and play the “dating game.”


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