Sometimes you just have to do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a “not so suitable” place. The blood is pumpin’, the hormones are going, and you know that you’re about to get it on. But what if you’re someplace…weird? Never fear, the TSM and TFM staff is here to make you feel better about your sexcapades by telling you the weirdest places we’ve done it. I’m not including names to spare our parents a collective stroke, but just know that we’re some sick puppies.
- Canoe at a fraternity date function.
Talk about “motion of the ocean.”
They took “getting dirty” to a whole new level.
- Transatlantic flight to Israel.
Hello, mile high club membership.
- Staircase. (It was not as hot as Cosmo said it would be.)
Going up to get down.
- Porta-Potty at the PGA Championship.
Better than actually watching golf.
- Janitor’s closet.
At least they could clean themselves up afterward.
- My sorority house.
Nothing says “sisterhood” like your girls having your back while a guy has your front.
- The middle of the road.
They really took the song “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road” literally.
- Boiler room.
Yes, it got hot in there. Yes, they took off all their clothes.
- My high school drama club’s prop closet.
Boas and handcuffs and kinky costumes, oh my!
- My ex-boss’s office.
Yeah, I’ll put my report on your desk. My SEX report.
- My college radio station’s office — and high school radio station’s office.
This just in: Getting laid “on air” is totally in.
- The bell tower of the music school at Syracuse that looks like Hogwarts.
“Intercourse can be found even in the weirdest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the guy.” Or, uh…something like that.
- An actual bedroom.
Wait…people still do that?
- A cave.
First she went into the cave, then he came into her cave.
- Handicapped stall of a college bar’s bathroom.
Hey, can you give me a hand…job?
- Shower in my freshman dorm’s community bathroom.
Would’ve been a great ad for Life Alert.
- My ex-boyfriend’s bed…with someone who wasn’t my ex-boyfriend.
Out with the old, in with the new. But still in the old bed, because whatever.
- The back seat of my car in high school.
- A treehouse.
Nothing says “I’m an adult” like fucking in your childhood hangout.
- Boys’ bathroom at my senior formal.
Going out with a bang.
- Abandoned outhouse at a West Virginia mining museum.
When you gotta bone, you gotta bone.
- In a walk-in refrigerator.
Nothing says “sexy” like some nice, cold produce.
- A rock quarry.
The rocks weren’t the only things that were hard.
- A church parking lot.
The power of sex compels you.
- In a graveyard.
Only the good die young, and the young bone on dead bodies…apparently.
- I lost my virginity in my parents’ bed.
It’s that great circle of (sex) life.
- A band practice room, with the musical accompaniment of my college’s drumline.
“This one time…at band camp.”
- In my best friend’s pool.
Nothing says friendship quite like putting your sex juices in your bestie’s pool.
- A fraternity’s chapter room.
- My sophomore year roommate’s closet.
This tops the list of shitty things your roommate could do to you.
- A coffin before Granny was placed in it.
Thanks for ruining everything, TFM. I give up..