The Term “Fiancé” Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat


“Last night, the love of my life asked me to be his forever… and I said YES!!! I can’t wait to start the next phase of my life with my incredible fiancé!”

I begrudgingly clicked “like” to let my college acquaintance know that I’m happy she’s getting married, and that’s actually the truth. There’s nothing more beautiful than getting a guy who used to do body shots off all of my sorority sister’s stomachs to commit to a lifetime of missionary sex with the same person. All jokes aside, I love wedding announcements. I love finding out how he proposed, where the event will be held, the colors, and stalking their wedding website. I’m not bitter because my boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet or because I think the couple getting married is too young (even if it’s true). The only reason I hate wedding announcements is because it brings an entirely new word into play: fiancé.

I don’t know what it is about the term fiancé, but I cannot stand it. It sounds so condescending: fi·an·cé. Maybe it’s because of its fancy French origins. Maybe it’s because girls who are engaged exploit every single opportunity to use this fancy French word in conversation. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t mean anything besides you made a promise.

I really wish there was a less pretentious word for fiancé because it just sounds so extra. The flair at the end of the word sticks out in regular conversations like a sore thumb, but maybe that’s exactly why girls like to use it so often. It sounds like it’s being spoken in italics. Fiancé.

There’s also a strange side effect of getting engaged that completely baffles me. As soon as a dude pops the question, it becomes nearly impossible for the woman to remember her betrothed’s name. From that point on, she refers to him only as “fiancé,” even though literally everyone around will know who she’s talking about. “My fiancé and I are thinking about a summer wedding, but it’s just so darn hot in Texas in July!” That’s great, but I and everyone else on your friends list know your fiancé’s name is John. We’ve heard you bitch and brag about him in equal amounts over the past year and a half, and even if we hadn’t, context clues would’ve given his identity away. But go ahead and use it as another excuse to say the fancy word, it’s fine.

Maybe women say it so often because it makes women feel like they’re engaged to some beautiful, exotic Frenchman every time they say it, instead of John, the salesman who recently gained the post-grad 20. They always sound so condescending, like those girls who get back from study abroad and can’t stop talking about how life is *so* much better outside “the states.”

And then there’s the idea that somehow girls who are engaged are better than girls who are in relationships. Yes, technically they’re taking the next step. But are they really that much better than girls in relationships? Girls who are engaged suddenly have this air of snootiness about them because they have a ring and a promise. You’re not actually married… yet. Yes, he said some sweet words to you when he popped the question, but that’s not the same as wedding vows. You still file your taxes as “single” just like every other girl in a relationships does. Getting engaged is nothing more than a promise to show up on the day of the wedding, and even then, weddings get called off all the time. You might have a tiny rock on your finger, but that doesn’t mean you have to suddenly look down upon the couples who choose to wait.

If I had things my way, I would completely abolish the term “fiancé” and just stick with “boyfriend” and then “husband.” Cut the crap in the middle and just get straight to the good stuff.

Then again, maybe I’m just a bitter bitch with a boyfriend, not a fiancé.

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Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: (not .com).

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