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The Sorority Girl’s Version Of “The Christmas Song”

Sorority Girl's "The Christmas Song"

High school boyfriends texting, “Hey what’s up?”
Old friends squealing, “You look great!”
Making small talk with an always filled cup
And mom asking if you really date.

Everybody knows that Netflix and some moscato
Help to make the break go past.
Grandma saying that you dress like a ho
Will make you miss college really fast.

So you stalk Facebook all day long
And you message all your exes, though it’s wrong.
‘Cause every time you’re on, you’ll be enraged
To see how many of your friends got engaged.

And so, we’re wishing you the best of times
Filled with love and gained weight, too.
Even if you don’t get a big ring that shines,
Merry Christmas to you.

And so, we’re wishing you the best of times
Filled with love and gained weight, too.
Even if you don’t get a big ring that shines,
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, merry Christmas to you.

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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