The Royal Baby Is Born!

At 4:24 PM, the world became a better place when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge welcomed their first child — a SON! Kate gave birth to the little bundle of joy, weighing eight pounds, six ounces in the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s hospital in London.

The long awaited heir to the throne will have the official title of His Royal Highness Prince (whatever the hell they decide to name him) of Cambridge, St. James Palace. How is THAT for a power name?

I could not be more thrilled for Will and Kate. As someone who has followed them since they started dating at St. Andrew’s in 2007, I knew a royal baby would be somewhere down the line of their love story. Kate was absolutely flawless throughout her entire pregnancy, and all of England is thrilled to welcome the newest heir to the throne.

The baby’s name has not yet been released, but I’m sure it will be long and regal…and normal-sounding (ahem, Kanye and Kim). Prince William’s name wasn’t announced until days following his birth, but Prince Harry’s was announced when Diana left the hospital with him.

Mother and baby are doing great, and all of the royal family is reportedly “thrilled” with the latest addition. His Royal Highness, baby version, is automatically in line for the throne…that is, once the Queen dies, and then once Charles takes over and dies, and then once his father, Prince William, takes over and dies…so it will probably be a while before he actually has to rule, but who cares? He’s a fucking prince.

I can’t imagine how perfect his entire life is going to be, especially because he has the chicest mother on the planet. The only downfall is that I’m 24 years his senior, otherwise I’d be doing everything in my power to move to London and try to find myself a king-to-be as a boyfriend.

On the other hand, I think it would be wise for Kourtney and Scott to move to England and set up a few play dates for Penelope with the new prince. Either way, I think this is literally the best day of my life, which is saying a lot because I once believed the royal wedding was the best day of my life.

The world has been waiting on pins and needles since Kate’s pregnancy was announced for the arrival of the heir or heiress to the throne, and people are celebrating the baby’s birth worldwide. This child is literally the most popular boy on the planet, and he’s merely hours old. I can’t wait to stalk watch him grow up, learn to be entitled, and speak with an amazing accent. He has the entire world at his royal, little feet. I hope he looks and acts like his Uncle Harry, dresses like the male version of his mother, and finds an American dentist.

Oh, and suck it, North West.

[via CNN]

Image via The Blaze


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