There is nothing out there that I understand less than the human male. Honestly, I could become an astrophysicist before I could understand guys. And I know that, because I live with them. At some point in your lives, you are probably going to live with a boyfriend, a husband, or even just your best guy friend. It happens. You start out needing a place to crash, and then he needs the extra rent money, so he offers you the spare bedroom, then voila! You’re living with a dude. I live with four of them. FOUR. (I know, I know, I’m waiting to be declared a saint by the Vatican now.) But I’ve noticed that, like any other living situation, living with dudes has its ups and downs. So to help any of you girls out there trying to make the life-changing decision about throwing yourself into the world of men, I’m going to lay them out for you now.
Pro: There’s always something to drink.
Guys tend to stockpile beer, liquor, and mixers “just in case.” I have no idea what they’re waiting for, or what they might possibly need four bottles of Jack Daniels and 64 beers for at any given time, but they’re usually not unwilling to share. Especially if they’ve had a bad day and want someone to take shots with.
Con: They’re just as sexual as you think they are.
Despite what people tell you, being “one of the guys” does not stop you from being a girl to them. You still have tits, and that’s still relevant. You will be “jokingly” propositioned for sex, but in that flirty way that lets you know they’re only kidding until you say yes.
Pro: Nothing phases them.
Not even when you stumble through the front door in the middle of the night yelling, “WASSUP BITCHES, I’M HOME!” and then hit your head on the stairs while trying to climb up them. They’ve seen just about everything by now.
Con: They’re messy. Seriously, seriously messy.
For me, this isn’t such a big deal, because I’m about as messy as a girl can be, but for some people it’s like the state of our house is an affront to their very being. If you can’t handle the dishes piling up and the living room being cluttered, living with guys probably isn’t for you.
Pro: They’re down for anything, at any time.
Whether it’s suiting up for the local bar or planning a party in only two hours, the guys are always ready for a new adventure. It’s fun to be around people like that, because there is literally never a dull moment with them.
Con: They will ALWAYS try to sleep with your friends.
If you aren’t bringing around the right amount or the right kind of girls, expect complaints. Every. Day. And if there’s someone that you really, really do not want them sleeping with, you need to make that explicitly clear before she ever comes around. “Please don’t sleep with her, I like her and I don’t like that many girls, this is a special thing for me!” And even then there’s a chance that they won’t listen.
Pro: It’s a mutually beneficial learning experience.
Finding out what guys ACTUALLY think about the crazy things we girls worry about (“Seriously, why do I give a fuck if she texts me first?”) is kind of comforting. It’s nice to know that you never needed to care about half the shit you were worried about. But it goes both ways, and you feel like you’re doing your part in educating the male masses. (“Well of course she’s angry. You took an hour to respond ‘haha’ then asked her for ‘the booty.'”) I like to think that I’m making the campus a better place, one lesson at a time.
Con: They’re just a little irrational.
I guess this is more of a pro/con, because usually the things they get irrational about are sweet on some level. That guy made you cry? They’re on it, and they won’t rest until he pays. Some girl is talking shit? They will take her down — they will sleep with her, then take her down. But, of course, when their idea of making him pay involves baseball bats and his kneecaps, it might be nice if they were just a little more levelheaded.
Pro: They’re always there.
Living with four guys is an adventure every day, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. In the past seven months, I have experienced a kind of support and a kind of friendship that I never would have imagined that I would have with these guys. From the best “Keep your head up” text that I have ever received, right at the moment that I was about to give up; to the hugs when I was crying and couldn’t even say anything, I’ve made friends that I know I’ll never forget, and that I hope I never lose. Living with guys is frustrating, and there are times I feel like we’re all ready to kill each other, but at the end of the day, I would recommend it to anyone, because it’s been the best living experience I’ve had so far..