The Pros And Cons Of Having Your Read Receipts Turn On

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To read receipt or to not read receipt, that is the eternal iPhone question. Personally, I go back and forth, depending on who I want to piss off that day. Don’t worry though, I’ll help you decide which route is better suited for you based upon your life choices and how high you choose to fly your shady bitch flag.

Pro: Your big knows you’re alive.
I frequently receive texts like “show signs of life,” just so she knows I still have a pulse after a night out. If your big needs to act as your own personal Life Alert, then you might want to consider turning them on. She needs to know you’re still functioning and breathing and that you need to be picked up ASAP before you wear out your welcome.

Con: You can’t ignore your big when making morally questionable choices.
If your big is also your moral compass, she will get the instinct that you are up to no good when you read her “Wine and Scandal tonight?” text and don’t respond, because you’re busy doing lines in a bar bathroom or something. A little party never killed nobody, right? Wrong. Please go back to the pro and turn them on for her or at least respond.

Pro: Your flavor of the week knows he is no longer the flavor of the week.
When a guy knows that you have read his text but are way too busy to respond, he freaks out. I swear. Just give it some time and the double text will come. He will assume you’re either working out, busy being fun, or busy working out with someone fun. In the bedroom. Get it? This can be fun and entertaining if you’re bored like I am 99 percent of the time.

Con: A guy might start to actually get pissed.
I have no personal experience or investment in this one, because I do not care if a guy is actually pissed at me. But, if you have a soul or something, you might not want to mess with guys. If you chose the “I don’t like to play games” route, let me know how that goes. I think it ends with you not having any guys to “not play games” with.

Pro: You can insert your IDGAF attitude toward your annoying and clingy friends.
What better way to tell your friends that you don’t give a shit about them? No, Jessica, I do NOT care that you went to the mall and couldn’t find anything good. Sounds like you don’t know how to shop.

Con: Your friends will hate you.
The friends you actually care about might think you’re rude and start talking about you. If this happens, just start a group text with them and your problem is solved.

Pro: You can choose when people think you’re just now reading their text.
This usually only works on the technically challenged, because everyone else knows you can’t let a text sit without being read for hours. This works if you don’t want to make plans or let someone know about your whereabouts.

Con: You have to restrain yourself against the notification of a message.
This always fails for me — I cannot stand the little red “1” in the corner of my messages. It’s like it’s mocking me to see how long I can go without reading it. Usually, I last about as long as your boyfriend does when he hasn’t seen you in three days.

Whichever route you choose, don’t forget that there are consequences and you’ll probably go back and forth just like me. I can’t stick with one method, either, but I usually prefer the passive-aggressive obviousness of having my read receipts on.

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BlingleWhiteFemale (@BlingleWhiteFem) is a single blonde female who spends her days campaigning for First Lady. She is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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