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The Pros And Cons Of Being Pale

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Winter is coming, and that means its the pale girls’ time to shine. No, literally, your skin will shine from reflecting off of the snow around you, but that’s okay. Tan girls get all the glory in the summer, but in the winter, you finally get to look less like a ghost and more like a person. There are several pros and cons that come with being a pale girl, and I’ve laid them all out for you here.

Pro: You don’t have to buy different summer shades and winter shades of foundation.
Con: No shade of foundation on Earth even comes close to being pale enough for your skin anyway.

Pro: You don’t have to learn how to contour your face, because no shade of highlighter is actually lighter than your skin tone.
Con: You’ll never have Kim Kardashian’s cheekbones. Or any at all.

Pro: You can stop getting spray tans to pretend to have some semblance of color at all.
Con: You won’t have any semblance of color at all.

Pro: You get first pick of being Elsa or Snow White at any and all holiday gatherings.
Con: If you’re a brunette, you got the least sexy princess of all, so that kind of sucks.

Pro: If you find the right shade, you look insanely sexy in red lipstick.
Con: In 99 percent of the world’s red lipsticks, you look like an insane vampire. Good luck finding the right one.

Pro: In the event you get separated from your friends at a party, they’ll easily be able to find you by following the blinding glare your body emits.
Con: That creepy guy who won’t leave you alone will also be able to locate you immediately.

Pro: You might actually stand a chance of looking “tan”…when you’re standing against a background of pure, white snow.
Con: Or you’ll just blend in and no one will see you. Yeah, that’s probably more likely.

Con: You suck at laser tag because your body literally illuminates.
Pro: You always have an excuse to get out of laser tag.

Pro: At least in the winter, you know you can go out into the sun without fear.
Con: But just wait until summer.

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RecruitmentChairTSM

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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