There aren’t many things in this world more awkward than a guy calling you “sweetie?” after hooking up because he couldn’t remember your name–except for maybe you doing the same to a girl you talked to several times during recruitment who decided to pledge your sorority. After a few, “Hey, you!” responses, those new members totally catch on and realize you straight up don’t know their names yet. Sometimes it gets so bad that you literally consider using the Michael Scott technique as an attempt to slide past the terrible phase of name uncertainty, which we all know is not the best solution to the problem. And for those of you who don’t already know, check it out:
Effective, right? Not. Hilarious, of course, and using it could lead to creating some awesome pledge names. But if anything, it reminds me of all of the other tips out there that just set you up for a new member naming disaster.
Here are a few tips that will hopefully help you out.
1. “Find The Trigger.”
Try to associate names with things people tell you about themselves, such as careers or hobbies. That will trigger the sound or association of the name in your mind.
Hooters hostess Holly, Hooters hostess Holly, Hooters hostess Holly.
Shots Shelly, Shots Shelly, Shots Shelly.
2. “You should be fine with the fact that the most common reason for not remembering names is usually simple.”
It isn’t Karen, is it? I’m sorry, I just have a lot to think about with planning parents’ weekend so my brain is just, like, more wine and less information, please! You totally understand.
3. “Ask the person for her name again if you didn’t hear her right the first time.”
You should really say your name more clearly, May. It rhymes with at least 10 different other words that could have been your name: Bay, Ray, Lay. Should I go on?
4. “Associate the name with objects or animals.”
She kind of has that Taylor Swift cat face thing going on, so that has to work in my favor. Taylor the cat face. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.
The good news is that after taking them to a few tailgates or nights out to your favorite bar, you’re bound to get to know them and eventually their name will be one that you remember forever. Also once they’re initiated, you’ll get to hear it repeated over and over again weekly at chapter during roll call–or at standards meetings if you guys have a really good time. All is well until it starts all over again next fall when 550 Stephanies and 791 Laurens register for recruitment. In that case, “girl” will have to do until the name tags show up for Bid Day.