The Only Semi-Valid Argument To Ever Exist Against Diet Coke Was Just Disproven

Diet Coke

We’ve all heard the warnings about the one we love but can’t stay away from. He’s bad for you. He gives you headaches. He’s full of aspartame. What? Yes, I’m talking about the one true love of my life, Diet Coke. For years, scientists have told us to stay away from “that guy” because its loads of aspartame, part of what makes it sweet yet sugar-free, is bad for you, and many claim to suffer from aspartame sensitivity, making them take a break from Diet Coke, scribbling his name over and over in their tear-stained diaries.

Well cry no more, because thanks to #science, we now know that aspartame sensitivity isn’t a real thing. If you think Diet Coke is giving you headaches, dizziness, or nausea, you’re probably just crazy, and you can keep drinking this delicious, sugar-free beverage to your heart’s content. Scientists at Imperial College in London conducted a test on a group of 48 people who claimed to experience negative side effects to aspartame. After blindly trying one product with aspartame and one without, scientists measured not only the results the subjects reported, but did blood work as well, and what do you know? Turns out aspartame sensitivity doesn’t exist, and you can all go back to drinking your Diet Cokes in peace.

The next time someone condescendingly looks at you with that perfect silver can and snootily says, “I can’t drink Diet Coke. It gives me headaches,” you can take solace in the fact that you’re not only smarter than they are, but you’ve also been drinking DC to your heart’s content while they’ve been bitching about nothing. Go ahead and enjoy a Diet Coke. You deserve it.

[via Real Clear Science]

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RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at

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