The One Reason Why We All Aren’t Having Enough Sex And Will Most Likely Die Alone

Not Enough Sex

You know what the best thing to wake up to is? A throbbing boner, not-so-inconspicuous sexual advances, and a man-child panting at your feet, just begging to be played with.

LOL JK. According to Daily Mail most of us ladies hate morning sex, and with good reason. We need coffee. We need to catch up on our social media stalking to see what people did last night. We need to brush our teeth and just exist for like five fucking minutes, damn it.

According to science, data, statistics and whatever other mumbo-jumbo brainy people use, most men and women want sex at completely different times. Based on a new study of 2,300 people, men and women are polar opposites when it comes to their most-bangable hour. On average, men want to get it on in the morning. 7:54 in the morning, to be exact. You know, the time when we should be regretting everything we did last night, sending out some damage control texts, or still sleeping. Because honestly? Is the sun even up at that time? I don’t know. But what I do know is that the boners are up at that time. And unfortunately for guys, only 11 percent of us are down to go to pleasure town at this ungodly hour.

The thing us, most of us lady-folk like to get it on in the evening. Even though we spend our days learning, working, running errands, cleaning, volunteering, exercising, and whatever else, we’d still rather do the dirty (on average) at around 11:21 p.m. We can have a glass of wine, take a shower, enjoy some pre-marital intercourse, and then pass the eff out. Now THAT sounds sexy.

The difference in preferences explains why once you’re in a relationship and not drunkenly going home with randoms, sex becomes, well, harder (buh dum tss). Which, unfortunately could mean that the two of you won’t have a happily ever after. While close to 70 percent of people say they’ve been with someone who has a different sex drive then them, they usually don’t end up together. Couples who are on the same sex-clock together, stay together.

So what does this mean? Well, it means that if you want the guy sleeping next to you to pop that question, you’re going to have to make some changes. It’s time to suck it up (literally) and start saying “yes” to morning sex, or die alone with twenty cats and a cobweb-filled vagina. The choice is yours.

[via Daily Mail]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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