The Modern Girl’s Guide To Current Events: A Daily Wrap Up

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We’re not a news site. Never have been, never will be. Sure, we cover the latest Greek scandal, the newest condom flavor, and how tight Ryan Gosling’s abs happened to look while vacationing in Jamaica. It’s great, it’s entertaining — and it’s fluff.

Yes, it’s “news” to some degree, but is it really? It’s great to be mindlessly entertained, great to take your brain out of your skull for twenty minutes a day and have funny stories make you laugh, great to know about the latest “Housewives” scandal, great to know where Lindsey Lohan’s coke is coming from. It’s kitchen table talk, having a vodka rocks with the girls talk, avoiding studying at all costs talk. But it’s not news. It’s not compelling. It doesn’t inspire and it certainly does not educate. And because we are a site by young women for young women, we’ve realized that we want to do more than entertain you — we want to inform you, as well. Think of this as the “SparkNotes” of current events — just enough information to make your parents think you actually read the paper, without having to do any real work. Save the “thank yous,” ladies, you’re already welcome.

U.S. Crime:

  • A gunman opened fire in an Oregon high school early yesterday morning. One student was killed and one teacher was seriously injured before the killer took his own life in a school bathroom. This marks the 74th school shooting since the Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre.
    Google Buzzwords: Reynolds High School, school shooting, gun reform

U.S. Politics:

  • Eric Cantor, the U.S. Congressman from Virginia’s 7th District and House Majority Leader, lost the primary election, meaning that come November, he is out of office. He is expected to relinquish his leadership position soon. This is the first time in the history of the Republic that a sitting House Majority Leader lost an election.
    Google Buzzwords: Eric Cantor, Dave Bratt, Majority Leader, John Boehner, Frank Underwood (kidding)
  • U.S. Senator Ted Cruz from Texas renounced his Canadian citizenship after having been outed as a dual national by a Dallas, TX reporter. Cruz, born to an American mother and a Cuban father, lived in Canada until the age of four. He is considered a natural born citizen and will have no issues should he make the much speculated run for president in 2016.
    Google Buzzwords: Ted Cruz, citizenship requirements for president, Texas Senator

U.S. Economy: 

  • Employers added 217,000 workers to payroll in May, meaning that the U.S. has finally regained the number of jobs lost to the Great Recession of 2007. At the time, the unemployment rating reached a shocking 10 percent. Today, it sits at 6.3.
    Google Buzzwords: Great Recession, unemployment rating, jobs
  • President Obama unveiled a new student loan forgiveness system, which is an income-based repayment program. It does not, however, assist those with private loans. Like most student loan forgiveness plans proposed thus far, this will do little to relieve struggling, financially burdened young Americans.
    Google Buzzwords: Obama student loan, “Pay As You Earn,” student loan forgiveness

World News:

  • 5 U.S. Special Operations soldiers were killed last week during a friendly fire airstrike in Afghanistan. It was confirmed Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Defense.
    Google Buzzwords: War in Afghanistan, Special Operations, friendly fire
  • al-Queda operatives overtook the city of Mosul, Iraq. Thousands of civilians fled the city upon the arrival of the guerrilla soldiers. The U.S. officially withdrew from Iraq in 2011 and yesterday’s military style takeover leaves many questioning whether or not al-Queda won the Iraq War.
    Google Buzzwords: Iraq War, al-Queda, Mosul

Clip of the Day: 

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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