The Life Of A Social Chair


Money, texting boys every day, and free alcohol. Sounds glamorous, right? Well, it is. The life of a social chair sounds like the number one position on a sorority’s exec board, and believe me, it does have its perks, but I’m here to introduce you to the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of this admired position before you get ahead of yourself and apply. Disclaimer: I’m all about going for what you want and living out your dreams and whatever the fuck, because as Ari Gold once said “Nobody’s happy except for the losers. Look at me, I’m miserable, that’s why I’m rich.”

I was so flattered when my chapter elected me as social chair. The number one unwritten rule of being a social chair: don’t be ugly. Therefore, after 150 people decided I’m not that bad looking, I was hyped. Not only that, but those 150 people also trusted me enough to remind them why they joined Greek life in the first place: to meet guys and to do crazy shit. I thought it was going to be easy, until the first creepy frat texted me and I had to somehow dig deep into my heart of hearts and say fuck no.

Being a social chair doubles as a full-time job. There has to be some child labor Panhellenic law against it. You have to collect money, which sucks because math and the everlasting temptation to pocket every last bit of it. You have to figure out which girls are going to chauffeur (while strategically placing yourself in the girl’s car who will take you to McDonalds). You also have to decide a non-basic theme that will not only impress the guys’ social chair and make him think that you’re some witty genius, but will also go over well with your sisters (try telling over 150 girls that they have to do an America theme for the 8th time this year). In between all this, you will be bitched and attacked by someone who hates the theme, someone who will not be able to give you money in time, or someone that complains 24/7 and just 100 percent needs to graduate sooner rather than later. A life lesson that you will learn as social chair: as much as you want everyone to be happy, it’s not going to happen.

The day of a social is the absolute worst. Amanda can’t go because she has homework. Emily can’t go anymore because she doesn’t feel good. Steph can’t go anymore because she has nothing to wear. Let me say it loud enough for the people in the back: I PLANNED THIS SHIT FOR THE PAST WEEK. SACK UP AND LET’S GET AFTER IT. This happens multiple days a week, every week.

Like anything in life, there are plenty of upsides. For one, you get to meet a ton of hot guys, because as I said, there’s no such thing as an ugly social chair. Maybe next semester I’ll refrain from looking like a sewer rat in sweatpants, a messy bun, and no makeup when going to meet up with them to give them alcohol money.

As social chair, you are also the main prospect to black out. Everyone understands how much work you put in throughout the week, so don’t even think about making the trek upstairs to get your own cup of jungle juice or Jell-O shots because they’ll just keep coming in from your friends. Be prepared to hit a lot of railings, and break a lot of shit.

Last but not least, get ready to be nominated “Sister of the Week” on the reg. Step aside prez, the social chair is the real HBIC.

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