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The Band Of Broads Every Girl Needs

Band Of Broads

Just like every closet needs its wardrobe essentials, every girl needs her band of broads. Our lives are full of heartbreaks and romance, successes and failures, diets and binge eating…and drama. At the end of the day, every girl needs a friend by her side to endure it all with her. Just as we select an outfit depending on the day, we select the female friend from our flock most suited for our immediate needs. Our clothes help us survive externally, while our friends help us survive internally. Here are the five friends every girl needs.

The White Tee

Like the crucial basic white t-shirt, every girl needs the straight edge friend. She’s not the white t-shirt that exists for the sole purpose of showing your nipples off during a wet t-shirt contest. She’s the crisp, clean and perfectly fitted white tee. This girl pairs well with every basic situation. If you need to grab coffee, study for an exam or go grocery shopping, this friend is your perfect companion. She’s nice and she’s essential, because she keeps you grounded by keeping things basic.

The Push-Up Bra

The push-up bra provides the extra support you need when you’re out partying for the night, just like the wild friend. Like the push-up bra fills out your tits, the wild friend fills up your liver with vodka and other blackout inducing beverages. Your wild friend makes you feel like you actually have your life together, because her life is a complete and utter mess. This friend is a necessity, because although you’ll grow old, she’ll make sure you never grow up.

The Fat Pants

Like a pair of fat pants that knows your every crack, crevice, and roll, the best friend is the girl that knows you all too well. She’s been with you through the good and the bad, the fat and the thin, and the love and the loss. There’s nothing you wouldn’t say or do in front of her, other than masturbate, probably. She knows the real you and she’s still your friend anyway.

The Bikini

The pretty friend is the bikini. She makes every female feel a little insecure. You admire her, and she kind of rubs off on you. She’ll drag your ass to the gym when you’re feeling down and she’ll make sure you step out of your comfort zone from time to time. The pretty friend is essential, because she makes you want to better yourself (physically) and she improves the quality of your profile pictures.

The Leggings

Leggings leave very little to the imagination. Your blunt friend also reveals nearly everything. She’s honest and open, leaving nothing off of the table. When you’re unsure of how an outfit looks, she’ll be the first to let you know that it’s ugly as all sin. When you’re questioning the quality of your boyfriend, she’ll inform you that he is in fact a douche bag. In a world full of bullshit, she’ll add a little bit of truth.

Obviously, you would never wear these articles of clothing together, but separately they’ll get you through every scenario. The bikini/pretty friend is perfect for a sunny day at the beach with some hot boys and some fruity drinks. When you’re looking to bare it all, the leggings/blunt friend will be there to listen and deliver the truth. On the day when you’re feeling depressed and bloated, the fat pants/best friend will be there to make you laugh until your bloated belly hurts. On a night when you need a little fun, the push up bra/wild friend will make sure you cut loose and make some bad decisions. When you’re just trying to get through the boring week, the white tee/straight edge friend will be there, so you don’t have to do it alone. At the end of the day, all a girl needs is a collection of clothes and this band of bitches.

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Brita Sweet

Given the nickname, 'Brita' because she has no filter, Ms. Sweet spends her time cleaning up word vomit and replenishing her bodily fluids with Vodka and Wine.

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