The Absolute Best, Most Insane Sex Quiz You’ll Ever Take


“Oh baby, you like that?” He asks, as he once against thrusts inside of you.

You moan, or say yes, or growl or whatever it is that you do to convey that you do, in fact like that, and then go back to thinking about what you want for dinner. About what that bitch at work said to you today. About what’s going to happen on the next episode of whatever show you’re binging on. A few more minutes of grinding, an Oscar winning performance on your part (plus a silent goodbye to the orgasm you never got to meet), and you’re done. He kisses you deeply, says he loves you, then pulls you into the shower to get cleaned up before ordering from Seamless. Again.

Sex. Isn’t it awesome?

For most of us, what I just described happens at one point or another. Maybe it’s the slow, gradual fade away from hot, animalistic sex, or maybe it was always like this. Instead of getting that yearning desire you’re just sort of, blah about the whole thing. That’s not to say you don’t love doing it. And you love (or at least sort of like) him. And most of the time you feel like goddess afterwords. Still, sometimes while you’re on your back, with your knees to your chest, you can’t help but wonder…

Is that it?

And guess what? It’s not. At all. Sex is fucking great. And fucking is fucking great. But the problem is most of us think that there are only so many things you can do in the bedroom (or the back of the car, or the kitchen table, etc, etc). Or so many things that your partner likes, or so many things you can try without looking like a freak. Sure you can switch up a position here or there, or take a trip to oral town, but unless you want to explore buttstuff, then like, what the hell else is there to do?

A lot. A whole, whole lot. And so, because I care about you, your partner, and your orgasms, I’ve found it. The answer. The key to happiness. A website called MojoUpgrade has created the best, most in-depth, eye-opening quiz you will ever take. Seriously. The quiz is extremely extensive with tons of questions covering six different sections: The Basics, Toys, BDSM, Anal, Group Sex, and Other Fetishes.

Just to give you an idea, here are a few questions from the “Basics” section:

SexImage via MojoUpgrade

Is it hot in here, or is it just me? The test is designed to take with a partner so you can discover things you might like, and open your mind to different experiences. When you answer all of the questions, you submit it, and wait for your partner to do the same. After you’ve both completed it, you’ll get emailed copies saying what things you guys matched on. Anything you (or he/she) answer “no” to are immediately eliminated, and the results only show things you’d be down to maybe try. BUT if you’re flying solo, you can still take the quiz! Just click the option of “one computer” and put in a generic partner of the gender you’ll be interested in.

It’s awesome.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll realize that you both really want to have a threesome. Or use toys. Or hook up in public. Or do something so wild that I can’t type it here for fear of losing my job. Honestly, there are so many options and things to consider that you’ll wonder why you’ve been stuck in missionary all of these years. So whether you’re in a rut, have never really cared about sex, or are getting orgasms left and right (congrats), take the quiz. You’ll either discover something new you want to try, or have a hell of a time reading the suggestions and laughing with your boyfriend.

My advice? Open a bottle of wine, pull up Google (trust me, you’ll need to look some of these things up), and consider spicing up you sex life. Your world, and orgasms, are about to be changed forever.

Click here to take the quiz.

[via MojoUpgrade]

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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