The 8 Guys You Know In A Frat


The Clown

You may have met this guy once or twice but you always try to talk to him because he is the funniest guy you’ve met at the frat. He’s always on the dance floor, not trying to grind with every drunk girl he meets, but instead, showing off his great dance moves. His first priority isn’t getting girls, but rather to have fun which is what makes him the best brother to party with. He gets drunk but always remembers what happened the next morning. Given the opportunity, he makes the funniest jokes and everyone is always laughing around him. Even if he isn’t exceptionally attractive, girls are still into him because he’s just a fun guy to hang out with.

The Fuckboy

Although we hate to admit it, we all know a fuckboy. Some of us consistently try to avoid him while he makes his rounds at the party. Sadly, he knows your name, but if you avoid eye contact with him, then maybe he won’t try to dance with you and every one of your friends. When he strikes out all night though, you know he’ll try to text you at 2 a.m. to see if you’re still at the frat house. Just say “no,” he’s not worth it. Maybe you hooked up one time, but he’s the type you hit and quit. Never go back to a fuckboy for a second round.

The Friends-with-Benefits

Similar to the fuckboy, we always try to avoid talking to our FWB at parties. We avoid them for different reasons though. Even though we both know we’re hooking up with other people, no one wants to see their FWB making out with someone else at a party. It’s just proper etiquette. On the same note, no one wants to subject themselves to only their FWB if we have other options for the night. We would much rather test out the rest of the party before we text them to spend the night.

The Best Friend

Despite the fuckboy and the FWB, there’s a reason we keep going back to their house for parties and that’s because we all have a best friend in at least one frat. They’re the person who texts you every time they have any type of event involving alcohol. They even bring you to their rush events to show the PNMs that there’s hot girls who hang out there. He’s the first to pour you a drink even if he isn’t bartending. You always tell them when you hooked up with one of his brothers and he even wingmans for you sometimes. Both of you can always rely on each other if you can’t find a formal date. He’s the first person you text when you don’t know what happened the night before because the last thing you remember is taking shots with him.

The Stoner

Every frat has one, just like every school does. The stoner is the number one drug hookup all the brothers have. He puts in the orders and knows the dealers and in return, all the brothers know and love him. Although he doesn’t go to parties often, you can usually find him in his room lighting a bowl. When guys hit on girls, they bring them to his room if they wanna get high. He may not be the most sociable, but he knows his place in the frat and he doesn’t mind.

Your Sister’s Boyfriend

Chances are, if you socialize with a frat often enough, then at least one of your sisters is probably dating a brother. Whether they met through Greek sing, like one of my sisters did, or they’re a one night stand turned relationship. Either way, she’s always down to go to this house’s parties and can even get you upstairs to drink the good alcohol instead of the cheap vodka at the bar.

The Weirdo

Every frat has that one guy you’re not really sure how he got a bid. He doesn’t quite fit in with the other brothers and the last time you saw him even hang out with them was when they were pledging. This guy can really vary, sometimes he’s just into weird card games or something. Maybe he’s just really bad at talking to people and comes off socially impaired. Or he could be like some of the guys I’ve encountered, where he gets too belligerently drunk and tries to dry hump every girl who isn’t dancing with a guy already. No matter the weird guy, I try to stay away from them and I advise you to as well. That is, of course, unless he can actually be normal sometimes.

The Dog

No matter how many guys you know in a frat, we all know the real reason we keep going is for their dogs. Because what’s a frat without a house dog? Whether it be the super senior’s golden or the pit bull your friend keeps in the house, they’re the cutest addition and the real chick magnet. So never forget, when all these frat boys fuck up, their frat dog will always be there for cuddles.

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You can find me in fratland Wednesday-Sunday, usually drinking wine. Dressed up to get messed up, but ignore my bruises because I fall too much. Elevated surfaces are my enemies but I love them anyways. I'll only go to your house if you have a dog.

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