The 5 Stages Of Moving On


Whether you were in a relationship for two years, were “together” for three months, have been “talking” since last week, or he straight up never texted you after you gave him your number at the party last night, being rejected by someone is always horrible. At one point you probably reached sky high levels of happy feelings that you wished would never end, but what happens when they do? How do we move on from something that we once had so much hope for? Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but let’s be real — if you’re expecting a text from a guy who says he will text you and you never receive one, odds are you are heated.

So how do we get over it when a relationship, potential new boyfriend, or someone you just liked talking to, decides you are no longer good enough to be “graced” with their attention and effort?

Stage 1: Confusion

This stage consists of millions of questions running around in your head, like, “Where the hell did it all go wrong? I thought we were perfect like yesterday? Did something happen? Is there someone else? Did he not like my *fill in every potential flaw you see when you look in the mirror*? When did things start getting bad? I mean maybe I saw the signs, maybe I didn’t, but even if there were signs, were they enough to completely ruin everything? Do I text him and ask what’s wrong? No, that’s crazy, I can’t do that. Maybe he’ll get over it tomorrow and realize he made a mistake. Yeah, that’s probably what he’ll do.”

But when that inevitably doesn’t happen, you’ll move on to stage two.

Stage 2: Sadness

Okay, I have to admit, I’m not a big defender of this stage. Sadness for me is my most avoided emotion, I normally just jump right to aggression, or at least strive to get there as quickly as possible. However, for the normal, healthy girls out there who do allow themselves to feel sad, this stage is for you. Go in your room, put on the saddest movie you can bare and cry your eyes out. Sometimes you need good cry, especially after the millions of questions you’ve been bombarding yourself with. But you know what really helps when you’re sad? Pizza and wine. Lots if it.

Stage 3: Aggression

In this phase you may or may not be so angry you can’t help it but wish you could blow up his phone with crazy texts, punch him right in the nose, kick him in his baby makers, or maybe you’re super aggressive and wish it wouldn’t be illegal to burn his apartment down. You’re probably fired up (no pun intended), and you have no idea how to vent any of this aggression out in a healthy way, besides maybe like running five miles…. or eating a large cheesy bread accompanied by a $13 extra large bottle of Moscato. That’s healthy right?

Stage 4: Confidence

This is my favorite stage of them all. I envy the girls who jump right to this phase after rejection, (if there are any out there), cause, damn, they got it right. This is the “I was wayyyyyy too hot for him anyways” phase. Cause honestly, you probably are. In this stage, you better look deep inside of yourself and realize how absolutely amazing you are and applaud yourself on all of the qualities you have that he is going to miss, or maybe never even got the chance to unveil. You are also going to take a nice, hard, loving look in the mirror and see how bangin’ your ass looked before you left the house today, and remember how he’ll be missing out on that too. Anything that will remind you how beautiful you are inside and out is what you will need to focus on in this phase.

Stage 5: Happiness

This is the stage that you are going to go out and do whatever makes your sexy ass happy. Go pet some damn puppies, get super tequila drunk with your girls and go out and flirt with as many guys as you want, text a guy friend you know always boosts your ego and mood, or go get a whole gallon of ice cream and eat it with your best friends. Do whatever will make you happy and leave you feeling more confident than ever. After you do this, wipe his stupid ass out of your mind, out of your phone, off your home page, timeline, snapchat. This is the stage where you’re finally done being sad and emotional, and you’re just ready to get on with your damn life. And it feels amazing.

If you’re still in stage two, don’t worry, you’ll get to the happy stage before you know it. Another little tip: pizza and wine always helps speed up the process.

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Suburbia NY ---> Rural VA. Sass is part of the package. Pants are my least favorite thing. If you shut the door on your way out, don't even bother asking me to let you back in.

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