Spoiler Alert: They’ll all break your heart.
1. The Older Guy
We love a challenge. Whether it’s healthy or not is another topic. Since he’s older, he’s established and he has his shit together. What more do you need? He will always remind you that you’re a lady and he’ll always respect you. Eventually though, he’ll start reminding you too much of your dad, because, let’s be honest, pretty much all of us have daddy issues these days. That right there is enough of a reason to end it. And end it now, before you start calling him daddy…in bed.
2. The Asshole
Face it. We all go through this phase at one time or another when we fall for the asshole. He doesn’t give you the time of day. Everything revolves around him. You only talk when he wants to talk–and when you talk, it means he wants something. In front of his friends, he acts like you don’t even exist, but when it’s just the two of you, he’s miraculously sweet. And when we’re being honest with ourselves, the more he is a dick, the more we like him. You’ll think you can change him, but you can’t. I know he’s hot, but if all your friends say no, then it’s a no-go.
3. The Sweetheart
He’s everything you ever wanted. He says and does all the right things. Your friends tell you he is perfect, and, well, he is perfect. He goes about everything the right way–three dates before he tries to kiss you and flowers just because. What more could you want? At some point, you will get bored with him, but at least this breakup will be the easiest, because he will understand. I guess the saying is true–“nice guys finish last.”
4. The Project
This is the guy with no direction in life. He has changed his major seven times in one year. He will probably be your school’s Van Wilder. Maybe his last girlfriend emotionally messed him up. Once you get involved with him, your motherly instincts kick in and you think you’re the one who can fix him. You will end up being mentally and emotionally drained from this one. He’s cute, but you’ll realize he’s just too much work.
5. The Power Move
This guy is every sorority girl’s weakness. He’s probably a fraternity president, or he might even be the student body president. In your social circle, he is the alpha male. He looks great on paper, so you know he’ll go places after college. To him, everything can be debated, theorized, and explored, and you are attracted to his involvement and intelligence. The downfall to this relationship isn’t just that he’s a workaholic–the fact of the matter is, you can’t fuck a résumé.