The 5 Girls You’ll Meet At A Fraternity Formal

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At your own formal, you know the drill. You pregame with your best friends from your pledge class, along with a few bigs and littles, and the crew of dates everyone managed to scrounge up. You know to avoid the token crazy senior who will either bombard you with a hateful outburst, tears and hugs, vomit, or a combination of all three, simply due to her impending graduation. You know who the sober sisters are (AKA, the girls you will avoid all night). You are completely prepared to handle possible confrontations with that one bitch in your pledge class who you never really clicked with.

But when it comes to attending a fraternity formal, particularly an out of town formal, you ought to know what you’re in for when it comes to the other sluts dates.

The Sweetheart
Whether this girl actually holds claim to the title or not, she knows everyone. More than likely, she knows “her boys” in more ways than one. It doesn’t matter, because this is her turf, so tread lightly. She will come off as sweet and inviting as she probes for information about the status of you and your date, but you know that inside, she is judging everything about you. How to deal with her depends mostly upon where she stands among the guys. If she’s a girlfriend or genuinely is friends with the majority of the chapter, you need to play nice and get on her good side, stat. If she’s the washed up whore who got asked at the last minute as a last resort, don’t waste your time with her antics.

The Pledge Sister
If you’re lucky, you will have lots of pledge sisters there, or at least friendly acquaintances from your sorority. Either way, it’s pretty much always guaranteed that there will be at least one other date who shares your letters, and for that, be thankful. At best, you will have a partner in crime who will get ready with you, pregame with you, and discuss your date in depth with you. At worst, you can feel a sense of superiority over your sisters stuck back home when your picture with her in front of a beautiful sunset pops up on the recruitment slideshow. Throw what you know, am I right?

The Loner Girlfriend
She’s not sweetheart status, but nobody wonders how she got here, either. Maybe she only comes to the fraternity for late nights with her man, maybe it’s a new relationship, or maybe she’s just an antisocial freak who couldn’t get a bid from a sorority. (Kidding!) Regardless, she tends to fly under the radar and interacts solely with the boy who brought her.

The Random
Thoughts that come to mind: Are we sure somebody actually invited her? Has she spoken to a single person here all weekend? Does she even go here? (She doesn’t even go here.) This girl is a mixed bag. She was probably set up with someone, but it’s unclear who would have set her up, since she’s interacting with literally nobody. She could turn out to be fun and outgoing and bond with you and your friends over plentiful shots. She also might watch the goings on nervously and seem unsure of what to do. Harmless, but creepy. Wish you were(n’t) here.

Obviously, you’re the perfect date. You and your guy have had a thing going for a while now. This probably isn’t the first event hosted by his fraternity that you’ve attended, and chances are, it won’t be the last. You have enough of your own friends there to avoid being clingy, but are well-liked by his pledge brothers enough to have your company sought after. You can’t help it that you’re so popular. But there’s not, like, a label on what you guys are or anything. You’re just “having fun.” And it’s almost summer, so what’s even the point, right? Whatever. Your cooler was bomb and you’re already drunk.

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sweet va breeze

Sweet Va Breeze has been through each emotional stage of sorority membership: obsession, hatred, indifference, and nostalgia. She is a semi-unemployed recent college grad and her hobbies include watching HGTV and pretending to enjoy trendy drinks.

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