Every girl is a bitch at some point or another. It’s not our fault, though. There’s usually a dumb boy, lack of food, or something else vibrantly annoying causing our temper to rise. Here are some examples.
- Hangry bitch.
Just pick a place to eat. It’s not that hard, people.
- Sleep-deprived bitch.
Leave me alone. I haven’t slept in weeks.
- Sex-deprived bitch.
Leave me alone. I lost my vibrator.
- Just-failed-my-final bitch.
Fuck all you honor roll people who will be successful someday. Strip pole classes would be a better investment than this college.
- Just-got-off-the-phone-with-my-mother bitch.
Apparently, I need to go through her instead of dad for money now.
- My-boyfriend-didn’t-text-me-back bitch.
Boys night, hmm?
- Waiting-in-any-variant-of-a-line bitch.
This is it. This is how I die. Standing in this godforsaken line.
But first coffee. Or I’ll punch you in the face.
- I-broke-some-sort-of-electronic-device-and-my-parents-are-going-to-kill-me bitch.
I’M NOT PANICKING. WHO SAID I’M PANICKING?
- My-boyfriend-gave-me-granny-pajamas-for-Christmas bitch.
Is something medically wrong with you?
- My-pants-don’t-fit-today bitch.
Sweatpants are all that fit me right now.
- I-ran-out-of-clean-underwear bitch.
Dammit, now I have to do laundry.
- I-can’t-believe-I-paid-to-see-this-movie bitch.
Can’t Trainwreck just stay in theaters forever?
- No-New-Year’s-Eve-kiss bitch.
Hi, God. Why do you hate me?
- No-Valentine’s-Day-date bitch.
Again, what do you have against me?
- I-don’t-have-a-boyfriend-and-I’m-surrounded-by-relationships bitch.
I’m SO happy for you two!
- I-have-a-boyfriend-but-all-my-friends-are-single bitch.
Girls night isn’t ruined! (I just have to leave in 10ish minutes and miss out on everything fun about being a young, twenty-something female. NBD.)
Why did I choose today of all days to wear WHITE pants?
- I-don’t-have-my-period-but-you-think-I-got-my-period-just-because-I’m-being-a-bitch bitch.
Do you have your period?
- Some-girl-is-trying-to-talk-to-my-boyfriend-at-the-party bitch.
Heyyyyy! Oh, you went to high school together? So cute!
- My-boyfriend-doesn’t-understand-why-I’m-so-upset bitch.
He knows what he did. Oh, he knows.
- Just-broke-up-with-my-dumbass-boyfriend bitch.
Why is everyone happy but me?
- Late-for-something bitch.
Move. I need to straighten my hair, like, yesterday.
- This-party-is-lame bitch.
Let’s go. This place is dumb.
- The-food-I-ordered-is-wrong bitch.
I said scallops and you gave me chicken. CHICKEN.
- My-best-friend-has-a-new-best-friend bitch.
Does what we have mean NOTHING to you?
- I’m-fighting-with-my-roommate bitch.
*gives silent treatment*
- The-Victoria’s-Secret-fashion-show-is-airing-tonight bitch.
Why can’t I be perfect, too?
- I’m-stressed-out-of-my-mind bitch.
I have a million things due, a major event coming up, and my face is breaking out. Someone just shoot me.
- My-spin-class-instructor-yelled-at-me bitch.
No. Sorry. I actually can’t “keep it up.” So, bye.
- I-have-a-gluten-allergy bitch.
So, like, is there anything on this menu I can eat? Or no?
- It’s-raining/snowing/hot/cold bitch.
I’m moving to California.
- Recruitment-week bitch.
This is only trumped by being the recruitment chair. Look out that crazy mofo.
- Spring-break-is-almost-here-and-I’m-still-fat bitch.
Great, I’m paying to look like a beached whale for a week.
- Formal-is-coming-up-and-I still-don’t-have-a-date bitch.
I go through all the effort to have a boyfriend and he can’t even make it to this one event. Can’t coach just move the game to next Saturday?
- I -have-a-date-but-he-sucks bitch.
I’ve only known you for five seconds and this night has already been too long for me to bear.
- Everyone-sucks bitch.
- Plain-old bitch.
All of the above. All of the time.
Life is so hard..
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