Teenage Girl Takes Selfies With A Bald Eagle, Wins “Most Patriotic American” Of The Year

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A lot of people have tried to tell me America is not the greatest country in the world. A lot of people have tried to tell me we’re behind on education, we’re behind on healthcare, we’re behind on human rights–basically that we’re behind on everything. But you know what I think? I think America is number one. I think America is the be-all and end-all. I think America is the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow, and the whole damn kit and caboodle. As Kenny Powers once famously said, “Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.”

So forget the haters. Screw the dissenters. Try the traitors…or, you know, send them to Gitmo. Because what other country in this great big world of ours has a symbol as fierce, as strong, or as noble as the bald fucking eagle? And in what other country do teenage girls likely skip class, sneak into a wildlife reserve, and take selfies with said badass symbol of liberty? Oh, that’s right. Nowhere else. Just here. ‘Merica.

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[via Young Conservatives]

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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