Teen May Head To Prison For Having Simulated Oral Sex With Jesus

Jesus BJ

Yeah, you read that right: “oral sex” and “Jesus” in the same sentence. What has this world come to?

A Pennsylvania teen may head to prison after posting a picture on Facebook of him pretending to get a sloppy blowie from a statue of Jesus Christ, who, by the way, is the holiest figure in all of Christianity, in case you didn’t know.

Jesus Blow Job

Holy shit, this kid needs to have a “come to Jesus” moment, and not in the way he was thinking.

The 14-year-old was charged with “desecration of a venerated object” after posting the picture above on his Facebook page in July. According to Pennsylvania law, “desecration” is defined in as “defacing, damaging, polluting or otherwise, physically mistreating in a way that the actor knows will outrage the sensibilities of persons likely to observe or discover the action.” Pennsylvania seems to take cases with “venerated objects” much more seriously than a normal crime of desecration, as evidenced when, back in 2010, a drunken 22-year-old CATHOLIC college student was arrested and held on a $10,000 bond for urinating on a nativity scene. As such, the potential penalty is much higher than a normal “desecration” charge–normally, he’d only get a maximum of one year in prison in an extreme case, but since this was a “venerated object,” he could get up to two years.

Do I think that this is a crime that warrants two years in jail? Probably not, but it’s INCREDIBLY disrespectful, and this kid needs to be shown that there are consequences for his actions, regardless of if he desecrated a religious object or otherwise. You shouldn’t desecrate anything, really, but a simulated beej from J.C.? Come on, dude. You should know better than that.

Then again, this kid probably got the fame and notoriety he wanted. According to The Huffington Post, his original post got more than 124 comments, ranging from praise for his actions to, “this is repulsive, even if you don’t believe you could at least have respect for those who do and those who ARE going to Heaven…you discusting [sic], disturbed, disrespectful little punk ass bitch.” This kid got EXACTLY what he wanted. Attention. Likes. Comments. Retweets. Whatever.

And in a world where kids think that Internet fame is the be all, end all, and negative attention is the same as positive attention, shit like this is going to keep happening. Isn’t that right, Holocaust selfie girl?

Parents, for the love of God, parent your damn kids.

[via Huffington Post]

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New York's Hottest Club is wherever I am. Haters to the front, hunky Sailors to the back. Bow down betches. Follow this bitch on Twitter @StefonTSM

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