Stop Sending Nudes And Start Sending Me Your Study Guides

Study Guide

We all do it. It’s no secret. Wandering around campus with an innocent smile and batting your pretty long eyelashes isn’t fooling anyone. You’ve put so much effort into perfecting every last angle. For some unknown reason, we are all so hesitant whether or not to press send. DO IT. Send your study guide and save lives. Quit debating whether or not to leak your naked photos, and focus on what really matters: sending the review you created to the people who spend more time in bars than in class.

“But it’s your own fault you didn’t pay attention,” you might remark. Please, don’t be the person who has this attitude. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer.

A good majority of college students waste away hours upon hours on Quizlet creating or hunting for good study guides. But why don’t we all do each other a solid and spread the love via email or however else you want to send these fabulous wise guides. And the syllabus isn’t enough to get us through finals, so please stop suggesting that.

Don’t get me wrong. I study when I need to and stuff. I’ve attended class a few times, probably not as much as I should, but I still get by. The real struggle stems from the natural instinct to walk into class and instantly trying to locate the hottest guy in there, and then not being able to focus from then on. Nobody can pay attention when the bronzed epitome of a sex god takes off his sweatshirt and reveals his perfect V-lines. Why listen to a boring meteorology lecture when you could be imagining where the two of you are going for your honeymoon? Come on. It’s pretty obvious which is getting more attention from the rest of the female population in class.

Luckily, in addition to sex gods are sex goddesses, and they often come in forms of the nerdy chicks. Ask any guy and they will tell you that the chick in the glasses typing away in the front of the lecture enjoys a little daily role play and sure as hell has an aesthetic for sending nudes. So, if you are that gal who has a knack for sexting as well as note taking, now is your time to shine. Show us what you are made of. Send nudes. Send notes. Send love.

If you have the tits to sext and the brains to successfully take notes, please have the heart to send your review guide to a whole class. Confidence is everything, my friend. And that’s exactly what it takes to send naughty texts as well as study reviews. I mean, they are basically the same thing in that they both bring joy, praise, and better people’s lives. Both are ways of spreading love and doing good deeds for those less fortunate, kind of like accomplishing philanthropy hours. And all sororities could use more philanthropy hours…just sayin’. So for all of you that have already prepared study guides, we know who you are. Go on and press send. Your hard work will not go unnoticed. Scout’s honor.

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Kellie Stritz

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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