Stop Making Me Feel Bad For Having A Good Relationship With My Big

Big little

It started out simple enough. I was grabbing Chipotle with one of my friends and we were doing what we usually do — gossiping about the girls we hate and making fun of each other. While we were taking a walk on the wild side and risking E. coli for a burrito, I checked my phone and saw that I had an Instagram notification. Naturally, I looked at it. It would seem that my big had tagged me in a hilariously relevant post. Because it was hysterical, I decided to share the content of the post with the friend I was with, not really thinking anything of it. However, this was where shit hit the fan. The convo went a little something like this:

Me: Oh my god, you have to see what *insert big’s name* just tagged me in on insta. Too funny.

Bitchy Friend: Gawd, I get it. You and *insert big’s name* are close. Like congrats.

Me: Do you have Pat’s dick shoved up your ass right now, like what the fuck? It’s a funny post.

Bitchy Friend: I’m sorry, I just don’t care. Sue me. You guys have good relationship, cool. Can we go back to talking about plans for this weekend?

I’m not going to lie, after this whole exchange, I was pissed. I mean, my friend was a straight up bitch for no reason. But then I thought about it. She did have a reason, albeit, not a very good one.

You see, this particular friend never really developed a close relationship with her big. Part of it was the result of poor matching, part of it was her big’s fault, but part of it was my friend’s fault. She never made an effort and just seemed to accept the fact that they wouldn’t be close. Hell, she didn’t even know her big had dropped until one of our other friends asked her about it.

So not only does she have a nonexistent relationship with her big, but I have a great relationship (#humblebrag) with mine. And maybe she’s just a teeny bit jealous. But here’s the thing, I don’t talk about my big to rub it in anyone’s face about how close we are. I talk about my big because she is genuinely one of my best friends. Just like if my bitchy friend, who also happens to be one of best friends even if she is borderline psychotic, were to do something funny or tag me in a post or whatever, I would share it with whoever I was with.

I love my friends. I love to talk about all the crazy shit they’ve done or the fucked up things they’ve said. I love to brag about their accomplishments, because even if they party harder than the Olsen twins, they are all still fucking brilliant. Just like how I’ll talk about the funny things my bitchy friend did, I’m going to talk about the hilarious post my big just tagged me. Because it’s amusing and because she’s my friend.

I know I’m not the only one this happens to. I’ve seen it many a times with girls making other’s feel bad about having a good relationship with their fam member, whether consciously or not. We get it stuck in our head that there is something missing if we aren’t close with our big or little. But honestly, that couldn’t be further from the truth. A big or a little is simply just a friend. Sure, it’s great if you are close with your fam, but what’s more important is all the friends you make, whether in or outside your sorority. And my bitchy friend? She has some of the most loyal and amazing friends a person could ask for.

So instead of diminishing another’s relationship in an area where you think you’re lacking, maybe, just maybe, focus on all the other amazing relationships you have. Because no one can have it all, and if someone says that they do, she’s a dirty liar and can’t sit with us.

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Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at:

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