Start Your Day With Morning Sex

Start Your Day With Morning Sex

Do you wake up feeling tired? Unrefreshed? Do you spend the morning looking forward to the next time you go to sleep? Does coffee not give you the energy you need to start your day? Are you horny? Then you need MORNING SEX!

Morning Sex is the perfect start to every day. Packed with vitamin D, Morning Sex will gently poke you away before eventually pounding energy into you at the same rhythm that your head is pounding from last night’s twelve margs. Go ahead and skip that morning jog, get yourself a morning log. Not only does Morning Sex provide you with exercise, but if ingested, you can get up to 15% of your daily protein. You’ll be getting the healthiest type of sausage available on the market today.

Morning Sex may taste like bad breath and sweat, but the cheeri-O that you’ll have will make you sack up and take it. Snap, crackle, and pop that pussy to get your day started the right way. Let him bust a honey nut right on your chest and turn you into frosted mini teats.

Because it’s hard to stomach so early in the day, it’s best to slowly easy into it. Start with skimming the surface but getting deeper into Morning Sex. Keep the shades closed and don’t look directly at it because while it feels good, it doesn’t look very appealing.

Here are some testimonials:

“I used to be all about that drunk sex, but getting older it’s like, “Can we just eat and watch a movie and fight about ranch?”- Rachel Varina

“Morning sex can be an opportunity for redemption for guys who whiskey dicked the night before. Or so I’ve heard, that’s never happened to me.”- Intern Wes

“It’s better than waiting til later for the next guy to come around.” – Intern Emily

“Don’t you think it’s a little inappropriate to be asking me about this?” – my mom

Morning sex, part of a cum-plete breakfast.

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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